God dammit.
- Locked due to inactivity on Aug 4, '16 4:33pm
Thread Topic: God dammit.
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*sniffles*
Dammit Xavier.
The year after you commit your damn suicide, I get abused worse by them, I get well, forced lemons, and everyone hates me. Xavier.. please.. come home. I miss you. But.. you're gone now... I can't... Please sweetie.. I can't support this.. they bring you up all the time: 'Oh, it's that girl who's friend died' 'I hear he commited suicide because of her'
It wasn't my fault.. It was theirs... Why don't people realize that... Maybe I can see him again soon, I hope so... Yeah.. Maybe... -
*crying* I can't take this anymore... *shaking* No one here... If I dissapeared, I doubt to many of you would care with your entire soul... I just... *knees give out* I just want my best friend back! Why does, if he exists, "god" hate me?!
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everyone just says he's my guardian angle, but how can I believe that... he.. he was the first hug I ever recieved... I haven't gotten an actual hug in about 1 1/2 years...
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Emily.
*Walks over to you*
Listen... your friend would not want you to kill yourself because of him. He'd want you to live a happy life... Death is something noone can stop... killing yourself would hurt so many people, Emily... Me, Jozy, Hicc, Absol, and so many others. IRL sucks, but look at your GTQ friends... focus on the true ones.
*Holds you*
I'm here for you, just.. let it out. I won't judge you or hurt you... i'm here to help you in any way shape or form that i can... -
You... you remind me of him.. *shaking* He was kind... he.. he was a lot like you... I.. *cries* I can't do this... I'm nit strong... I'm.. I can't...
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I don't know what you're going through, so my advice might be useless.
I know that you're thinking about committing suicide, but just don't do it. No good can come from it, and I don't think your friend would want you to do it either. You're such a strong person. Afterall, didn't you have cancer? And you've fought through that. What was the point of surviving when you were dying only to take your own life? You can make it through this. It might take a while, but I believe that you will get past this. -
*Stares directly at your eyes*
Emily. I will be your strength... you be you and i will help you as best i can. I'm only human, you are too but we can be there for eachother... I care about you, you know me and care about me.
Just let it out... tell me what is wrong. I.'will. help. you through this. Pain will never leave and neither will i. -
Honestly.. I'm not saying to commit suicide.. I'm just saying I can't do this... And.. I am a cancer survivor... you're right.. *sighs* ... I know he wouldn't want it... He was only 7 too.. his mother committed suicide, she had him at age 16... his father took great care of him... I wish he was here though..
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Everythings wrong.. I'm away from my aunt, so less abuse and pain... but... *cries in your shoulder* I dunno.. it.. it feels like someone is literally stabbing me in the gut over and over again.
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But you can do this. You can do anything you set your mind too (and I know that sounds cliche, but it's true). I wish I had half the strength that you have because you've been through so much, and yet you're still here, fighting. You can, and you will, be strong enough to make it pass this.
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*nods gently* Thank you.. l-like... once again, you save me.. you're really good at that y'know. When I was fighting cancer you helped me, now your helping me throughout this..
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I wish i could help, Emily... I feel like i'm useless... all i can do is be here for you... b-but... the pain is still there like a permenent marker on wall... it...
*Holds you close*
I want to protect you... -
*hides in your chest* *shaky breaths* Your more than you think. How many times have you saved my life now? over 20 I know that.
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It's no problem at all. I'm happy to help, and I think this is sort of like fate if you believe in that. I haven't been on in about three weeks, and I just happened to come on when you needed something. I think everything happens for a reason.
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I.. if i lost you... i dunno what i would do. I love you oh so much, Emily... *Hugs you crying softly*
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