I don't know what I can do.
- Locked due to inactivity on Aug 4, '16 4:31pm
Thread Topic: I don't know what I can do.
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Thank you for the advice. Whenever I get on here, most of your guys' opinions is what controls whatever I say. I want to keep friendships, not break them. I just want to not fight with anyone. I know that sometime in my life, people will disagree with and/or hate me. That's what I worry about. I don't want that to occur. So...I'm sorry.
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I just do. I'm sorry. Seriously, thank you for caring. That's what I really need. People who care. I think you've brought me to tears. Not bad ones, though.
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You know on another note I have also given up on trying to be accepted by people I know never will. I know that the people that accept me the way I am are real friends, not just people that say they're my friend because we both have this coolness-covering no one else can see behind. People can read me like an open book, and I don't give a s---.
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I'm sometimes closed and sometimes open - well, if I was a book. I guess I only open up when I want to vent out my feelings. You seem so relaxed. I wish I was relaxed.
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Damn you're going to get me all emotional. But yeah, I care, a lot. I just want you to be happy, and I think you should just be yourself. If other people don't like it screw them.
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I want to be happy to. I'm sorry for complaining. It just worries me alot. Some people will, in my lifetime, not like me. I just... *shrugs* I don't know.
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*too
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I just type like I'm relaxed, but I'm not gonna lie here; I spend hours upon hours awake at night wondering on how I could possibly deal with the next day's problems. Sometimes I even get so nervous I start chewing my fingernails...I know, it's gross but I guess thats just my way of getting my nervous energy out...And if the past few days really haven't gone well, I might even cry myself to sleep. My point; I might seem relaxed on here, but really I'mnot anywhere near that.
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*I'm not
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Yes, that's what I do. Not the chewing fingernails part, but wondering how do deal with the next day's problem and wondering if I can make tomorrow better than today. That's what I think. Every night before I go to bed.
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And sometimes at school, I just start crying. not loud or attention-grabbing. I just put my head near whats on my desk like I'm reading something (I have to read things very close up) and I just start crying. When people notice, I always just tell them that it's nothing and not to worry. It just sickens me...but these are on really really bad days or bad weeks. Other than that I just try to ignore what people think of me except from my one friend at that school...
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Sorry about that, had a few obstacles in between myself and my laptop.
Alright, first and foremost, knock that the f--- off right now. Don't compare yourself to me or anyone else. That's not good for your emotional health. Don't aim to catch up to anyone. Aim to be comfortable with your beautiful self.
I may be a bit hypocritical for saying any of this, but I really don't know how to make you feel more comfortable with yourself. I've been hard pressed to find any way around self-hatred. I think a lot of it is probably just looking around and seeing that you've gotten better, and once you see that, letting it encourage you. The best I can do is tell you that we all just want you to be happy with yourself. If you're wanting to feel better about who you are, I'll do my best in encouraging you. -
I'm sorry this is happening to you. I guess we aren't that different at all.
It's alright.
Alright, I'm sorry. Sorry for comparing myself to you. I won't do that again. I guess I'll try to move at my own comfort...I just...I don't want to be immature. I want to be exceptional and I want to be known positively. Thank you for the advice. -
oh s--- no don't say sorry like that I didn't mean to sound angry or anything I'm sorry bby
You're quite mature. You really don't have to worry about that.
f--- that whole thing came off as angry or unhelpful and I'm sorry but you know you're already thought of positively
I frukin love you I'm sorry I'm not wording this very well and I know it doesn't help and you're still sad and probably unsatisfied with my answers I'm sorry but know that you're beautiful and sweet and forgiving and smart and you don't deserve to feel sad so again I'm sorry for saying anything in the first place but please don't drop this and leave feeling like you haven't gotten what you needed. Let's work this out. -
I have to go. I'll read your reply, Maru, and any other replies that come in (or if any more come) tomorrow. Goodnight.
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