I fell asleep. But I woke up.
- Locked due to inactivity on Aug 4, '16 4:30pm
Thread Topic: I fell asleep. But I woke up.
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I think I'll just stay on here and do homework because I'll get distracted watching things.
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Love is so confusing. You never get to keep it for long. And we were five months away from our first year anniversary. I was praying we'd get to it. Oh well.
Now I'm laying in bed with a lost look dreaming about stupid things. I don't like my dreams. They're never useful. In the end, though, I'm always longing for something. I just want a companion that I won't scare away.. I've failed that, though. And in my dreams, I fail too. No matter if it's a real person or a fake one, I never get to keep the person I like. And the last scene is me being slaughtered by them. It's a repeating cycle. Not fun at all. -
*hugs* Sorry.
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Perhaps this can be my break up diary thing. Yes, let's make it that. Just for right now. I don't care if everyone can see it.
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Don't be. I don't want sympathy. I want Andi. I want her to talk to me.
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That sucks, son. Not sure what to tell you.
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It's human nature for me to say sorry hon. Have you tried talking to her...?
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Tell me that I can have your babies
I know, but still. I don't want to make anyone mad at her or anything. She blocked me on Facebook, I'm sure my email is now prepared for her junk list, she deleted her Wattpad but I think she did that before this, and I've never really tried to talk to her any other way. I have no way to get to her and she clearly doesn't want me to. -
I'm angry yes, I'm angry at her for what she did to you dark. You're my little sister, even if its not by blood, you're still my sister and I am protective of you. But I'm not going to be verbal about it. What she is doing is wrong, blocking you and deleting her accounts is wrong. She should talk with you, not be a coward and hide in the shadows.*hugs* I know if I emailed her she would answer.
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But you don't have to be. She thought she was ruining my friendships, she obviously thought wrong, and all I need is for her to see that. She's trying to make it so I can't talk to her. She wants me to forget. I understand that. I hate it, but I understand it. All I can do is wait for someone to get to her. And I doubt it.
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Hon...*sighs lightly, pets your head* You're a sweetheart you know that? She wasn't ruining any of your friendships, but I think it's...a bit late for her to see hon. It's hurting you that she just wants you to forget. Maybe...I can try Darkness. I'll try to contact her.
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Obviously. She shouldn't have thought that she was ruining my life. Honestly, she made it sound like she thought that she was holding me back from the world. That she was hiding my true potential by being with me. But that's not true. I wouldn't have been able to do half of the things I've done without her support. I wouldn't have done the speech contest if she hadn't calmed me down for it. I wouldn't be in Honors if she hadn't told me she believed I could do it. I wouldn't have tried to do art, I wouldn't have gotten into anime, and I wouldn't have experienced real love. Without her, I'm going to slowly drop out of everything until I'm a normal person. I don't think that's what she wants, but I need her so much and she left. So I'll stop being what I wanted to be if I have no one to do it for. Have fun trying.
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Not only did I rely on her for support, but I relied on her for love and to have someone I could wait for. Someone I can hold one day. -
You still have me, Rosie, Moy, Maru, Sel, and Heph to help you. I know she means the world to you and she was able to help you with everything. What? No don't drop out of things you like hon! That's not something you should do. You loved her with all your heart, I know, but just...don't give up on things because she left.
I know hon. But you still have your friends. I know it's not love dear, but friendship is a healing thing. -
Yet all of you are the very people she thought she was depriving me of. The thing is, I never helped her. I was a useless f---ing idiot who never actually helped her. All I did was say I'm sorry over and over. Had I actually done something, maybe we'd be together. What's the point of doing things I did because I wanted to make her proud? I'm not saying I'll drop out of honors or anything, but other things I won't do. I will. If she really wanted me at my best, she'd f---ing look to see what a total MESS I am. But alas she's too busy ignoring me.
Hn.
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