I feel like utter s---. I'm not very confident in myself right now, and I just keep picking at all my flaws. My weight, cellulite, stretch marks. All of that and more. I can't even smile decently. I have absolutely no drive to be better, I don't see myself being a better person. I can't be fit and healthy. I can't have my mental disorders go away. And I can't be a better instrument player. I could be better, i just don't have the drive or determination to do it.