Thoughts?

  • Locked due to inactivity on Jul 13, '19 3:54am

Thread Topic: Thoughts?

  • avatar
    Stardust1 Advanced
    So, I know this guy, M. We're pretty close, and I know he likes me and cares for me a lot. And he knows I like him and rn we're at this odd stage of being together, but not officially. (My own choice...just being as slow as I always am.) But the thing is, we're not allowed to be alone together (despite the fact that we're both 18, we do try and respect our parents haha). So that means I'm usually asking my friend S to hang out with us. Thing is, he's gotten pretty close with her, and honestly it seems like he gives her more attention than me. And she's great, you know. Athletic, pretty, smart. She's like me, but better heh. I've already confronted him about it,,,, why me and not her. And he tells me he just doesn't like her the way he likes me, and he's told S that they are 100% just friends. They both don't like each other in that way, but they act like they do. So I don't know. Am I just overreacting? Or trying to play down what's going on?
    I don't want to keep confronting him about it, keep nagging him. I don't want to be that sort of clingy. But at the same time I'm sort of hurt when he chooses to spend more time talking to her than me.
  • avatar
    Paige_ Advanced
    Well, if M says he doesn't like her the way he likes you, maybe he's telling the truth. But you're not nagging him in any sort of means, I feel honesty is very important in a relationship, and that you can mention that you feel this way without sounding needy. I'm sure M will understand
  • avatar
    Stardust1 Advanced
    Thanks. Sometimes I consider confronting him again about it, and again talking to him, but also... If he wanted to ever talk to me, he could. Its his choice whether to spend more time with me than her. I don't want to make him feel like he HAS to pay more attention to me.
  • avatar
    Paige_ Advanced
    If he is your boyfriend, than he should pay more attention to you. He probably doesn't realize he's doing it/its affecting you. That's why he should know.
    Sorry this is super late
  • avatar
    Stardust1 Advanced
    Ah but there's the problem... He's not technically my boyfriend. We just like each other and are close.
  • avatar
    Paige_ Advanced
    Ah, I see. Maybe you should ask him out.
  • avatar
    ello Senior
    this is 100% not serious, don't actually

    You know what you should do? Babies trap men. That's all I'm saying.

    really though don't do it, and I think you should tell him you wanna be with him and that hanging out with the other girl more is hurting you, because telling him your problems if you're close is a good idea. If he does like you the way you say, he'll listen to what the reasoning is and respect that. Watch out for that other girl though
  • avatar
    Stardust1 Advanced
    Haha I said something to him once, and he thought I said "or we could have kids" and that was interesting to see his reaction lol

    but thanks for the advice... And I will try to talk to him again. I'm honestly not super worried about the other girl. She's a close friend of mine and I'm not jealous of her in the way where I'm concerned she's going to steal my guy, I'm just upset that he spends way more time talking to her than me. She's been pretty awesome actually, checking with me to make sure she wasn't getting in the way, and none of this is her fault in any way. It's just an issue that I need to sort out with him ig
  • avatar
    ello Senior
    That makes sense, and it's good she's been looking after you. I wish you the best of luck
  • avatar
    Stardust1 Advanced
    thanks fren
  • avatar
    Ericat Novice
    I've been in this situation before, and he was my boyfriend. (I broke up with him. It was obvious he liked the other girl more) But you should ask him out.
  • xi is awesome Newbie
    TALK TO THE GOD DAMN GUY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • avatar
    Stardust1 Advanced
    Tbh I should've talked to him.

    Ok update. 5 weeks ago we broke up. Even if we werent technically together, it still ended. He broke up with me over text and then 2 weeks later, started dating my friend S. So yeah that was pretty low of him, and I'm not on good terms with S because even if she didnt mean to, she did break my trust.
    I spent the next few weeks just staying angry at M and crying ig like any breakup. And then I was just tired of being upset. Yeah he was a jerk but I really can't move on until I do face him.>So I called him and we finally did talk. He apologized 100 times over and said he never shouldve texted what he did. That he never intended to hurt me. That after he understood how much he hurt me, he didnt sleep for the next few days after, and that he cried so hard. Basically he was just really sorry. And we talked about how it all went down and why it ended and just about how he got with S. And tho we had a miscommunication problem, we have always been honest with each other, so it was good to lay out everything that's been on our minds. He and S never meant to date each other, and especially never meant to hurt me. They had both thought I was over M when they got together. (It was their fault for never actually talking to me but whatever.) I mean none of those details matter now. I forgave him, and we're on good terms now. We're not friends, but we'll always be there for each other if that makes sense.
  • avatar
    Ericat Novice
    Yeah that makes sense.

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