What qualifies as an abusive relationship?
- Locked due to inactivity on Nov 6, '17 3:54am
Thread Topic: What qualifies as an abusive relationship?
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Either a personal definition or a literal definition would be okay, I'm just curious to see what results I can get.
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sadboy66 Newbiewhen someone in the relationship abuses the other
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Relationship abuse is a pattern of abusive and coercive behaviors used to maintain power and control over a former or current intimate partner. Abuse can be emotional, financial, sexual or physical and can include threats, isolation, and intimidation. Abuse tends to escalate over time. When someone uses abuse and violence against a partner, it is always part of a larger pattern of control.
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I'll give you my personal information on mental abuse. I can't say I know much about physical, sorry.
Abuse can be something as simple as saying, "If you leave, I'll kill myself." Abusers do not want you to have your own free will. They will slowly work their way into you, and sometimes they will commit subtle acts of abuse. Insults here and there that aren't even necessary. Blaming for things you never did. Denying that they were in the wrong every time. They break into your mental strength to a point where it looks like it's just their bad day and not something carefully thought out. Of course, if you accuse them of being an abuser they twist your words and say it's your problem, they would never do something like that, how dare you say those words.
Sometimes they punish you by not giving you attention or information. Of course they expect you to say where you were every day, but don't expect them to respond. In fact, if you ask them anything about their day, you risk getting into a fight with them. Abusers do not think they need to tell you anything.
Sometimes they avoid topics that would blow their cover. Or they just avoid anything you want to say at all. They twist conversations to the point where you're having to defend yourself even if the conversation had started off with you being bold and calling them out. They aim to make you forget.
Anything happy you say? f--- that. You call them beautiful and they'll say you're a liar. They'll belittle you and eat at you just because you were being nice (or honest). Beautiful day outside? It's never nice. The weather is always s---. They contradict what you have to say constantly.
Sometimes they simply insult you, and once they've already been chipping away at your soul, you begin to think everything is your fault. You start to believe you're a whore. You start to think that you do suck cock with that big mouth of yours. You are the embodiment of their insults.
And by the time an abuser is done, you will be so lost that you never want to leave. You will forget the unnecessary pain just because you love them. You believe their fabricated truths. Sometimes you ignore people warning you. Mental abuse can often be.. Worse than physical. So if your friend is pointing out red flags, don't ignore them. Trust me. Being in a bad relationship for too long can destroy you as a person. It can destroy your way of thinking permanently. -
Interesting. That makes sense. I was with this guy for a bit who my mom set me up with who seemed like a decent dude at first but got really possessive as time went on. He didn't want me talking to other guys and got upset when I did. It wasn't like I was talking with them in a way that I shouldn't, they're friends, and I had to constantly reassure him of that, but I figured maybe he was just anxious or self conscious, etc. Then he wanted to face time every night, and sometimes I didn't want to, and then he'd get angry saying "Well I face time with you even when I don't have the energy you should be able to do this for me" and stuff of that sort. Then he'd search up where I was at on stupid f---ing bitmoji app because I forgot to turn that off asking me why I'm not with my mom, who I was with etc. He'd also get really angry with me when I told him I wouldn't have sex with him. I told him straight up why I didn't want to do stuff like that and he got angry saying "well, I'm just sexually frustrated, I don't know why you don't want to do this" and would always interrupt me and it was just horrible all together. I felt like a prisoner always watching what I was doing and I felt as if everything I did was wrong or was going against him even if it was something as simple as hanging out with friends without him because then he'd make it seem like my fault he's alone or some bulls--- excuse.
I was just curious to see your guys' definition of an abusive relationship since one of the main reasons why I broke up with him was because I thought it was abusive, but wasn't sure if that was a good legitimate reason or not, I guess. -
"but wasn't sure if that was a good legitimate reason or not, I guess. "
--the only reason you need is that you wanna break up. don't stay in a relationship you're not happy in--
The guy I was with for the past 2 yrs was manipulative, I guess that's a kind of emotional abuse cause he did some of that stuff.. said if I leave he'll kill himself and accused me of stuff I didn't do. -
I had a friend who would do that to another friend of mine and that is totally okay. That's a threat, and could actually get someone in legal trouble.
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