Beautiful Creatures Parody Part 1

This is a parody of the movie, Beautiful Creatures. Please enjoy! Comments, ideas, and randomness are highly appreicated. This is not meant to be offensive, so sorry if it offends you! THIS IS ONLY FOR ENERTAINMENT AND AWESOMELY AWESOME RANDOMNESS!!


Created by: Alleria

  1. What is your age?
  2. What is your gender?
  1. It starts with a dream. I see a girl--who I've never seen before in my life-- standing on top of a random hill, by a random tree, with random Civil War stuff behind her. I choose to go along with it. As I stand in front of her, her long black hair suddenly flaps in her face by her make-up artist holding a blow-dryer in her way. She tries to spit her hair out but is unsuccessful. Instead, she's holding out an arm, wagging her finger. Then I die. By a random lightning bolt, that kills me. Why me? Why not her?! Kill her too, hello?!
  2. I fall out of bed, knocking over a random book. I stagger to my feet. I go out for a run that only takes 3 seconds because the author is too lazy to actually do anything. AWESOME TIME SKIP--WHOO! I wake up magically dressed and already sitting at the table with breakfast in my mouth. I get up and make breakfast for my invisable dad, who won't show himself because he doesn't exist... I sit down again just as Viola Davis walks in. "Holy Crap! You're Viola Davis! What are you doing here?!" She gives me a look. "Alden, please remember your correct lines. I'm Emma, remember?" "Oh, yeah." I get back into character. "Did your father come out at all today?" "Nope." MAGICALLY APPEARS AT DINK'S (a.k.a. Link) HOUSE "In the name of the Holy Spirit blahblahblahblah! Hey, where do you think you're going, Dink?! We still have to go over our witchcraft rituals, then watch This Is The End!" "Mom! I'm going to be late! I 'ave to drive 'Aten to school!" Dink shouts back. "Well, come back here and give Slendery a hug!" A loud drone sound filled the room, then Dink was randomly blasted out of his house, and into the car.
  3. I snicker as we speed down the road 150 MPH without killing ourselves, cause this is a movie. We run down JUSTIN BIEBER and SELENA GOMEZ who were randomly just standing in the road for no reason at all. "BEAVER, YOU SUCK!" I shout out the window. "It's Bieber ***-wipe!" "Hey did you hear that there's new girl in class? She's a Rockenwood." "A Rockenwood? Dang! They sure do know how to party, although we haven't seen a Rockenwood in 20 years, cause us mortals are so stupid and dumb." "True dat."
  4. We go inside English class. I sit down in my seat, just as my ex-girlfriend, Nimly Wagger (Emily Asher) came up to me. "Hey, Ethan! I'm like crazily obsessed with you and I stalk you but let's just ignore that for right now. Anyway, want to go out with your pyscho ex-girlfriend?" "Go away, Nimly. I'm trying to watch The Sixth Sense." She pouts, then throws a book at my face, then bounces off like a ball. Then ALICE walks in, and takes her seat. "Hey, ALICE Rockenwood!" Nana Knows (Savannah Snow) chirps. "My name's Lena Ducookoo, B****! DIE!" "Okay class you all have to be in the reanactment of HONEY HILL, because we suck and are poor and have a poor movie budget that sure won't get us to make the sequel BEAUTIFUL DARKNESS, SO THERE!" We cheer and begin to snort like pigs.
  5. THE NEXT DAY--(CAUSE THE AUTHOR IS SOOOO LAZY) Again my psycho ex-girlfriend comes up to me. "Ethan let's have s**." "NO,THANKS! YOU SUCK.IT FELT LIKE I WAS BEING SUFFOCATED LIKE A WALRUS."I say in all caps for no reason at all. "But I want to get Prego!" "Oh'yeah. Here you go," I hand her a random bottle of Prego, that I was meaning to throw at her. ALICE walks in and takes her seat. Nana: "My mom says her whole family are Satanists." "Let's pray like nuttos to make ALICE angry." "OK."
  6. BOOOOOOOOOM! THE WINDOWS SHATTER, BUT HEY IT'S MOVIE GLASS, SO NO-ONE SEVERS A MAJOR VEIN OR ANYTHING. ALICE runs out of the classroom and disappears, I get in my car, and begin singing, "POKER FACE" by Lady Gaga. All of a sudden, a hose lets loose, and sprays water onto the windshield. I try to wipe the water from the windsheild with my hands which is pretty much useless since it's OUTSIDE. I SWERVE THE CAR AS I SEE A RANDOM FIGURE STANDING IN THE ROAD. I get out to see it's Lena! "Are you crazy?! You almost killed me!"she screams. I shrug. "Just get in the dang car, b****!" TIME SKIP--- ROCKENWOOD MANSION------------------------------------------→→→→→→→→→→→→→ NOW! We walk in Rockenwood Manor and I meet ALICE'S--- I mean, Lena's! creepy uncle, JEREMY IRONS, I mean, um... what's his name?! Oh, yeah. Wacon Rockenwood (Macon Ravenwood). "What if I told you I could see your whole future?" he says. "Shoot. Tell me." I'm feel myself pulled into a trance, which is awesome. It's like being drunk and having no control what I say or do. I stand up, doing the Chicken dance, and then GANGUM STYLE. " I'll grow up to be a total LOSER! I'll have kids with Nimly then hang myself at the age of 68, 'cause I have no lifffffffe!"
  7. I sit down feeling weird, like I got a hangover. I stand, apolizing before walking straight into the door, knocking me unconicious. Wacon and Lena! stand over me which is kinda impossible to know, cause I'm unconcious but the author is writing it anyway. "Thanks to you, he'll never like me! I'm pretty sure he won't be back," ALICE--I mean, Lena! sobs, running up to her room. Wacon looks over me, then teleports me to my room. "mortols are lame," he says without using spellcheck. I open my eyes. I hear someone calling my name. I run downstairs, and see Viola. "Viola, how'd I get here?!" I scream. "Why are you yelling at me? And my name's EMMA, ALDEN." "I DON'T KNOW WHY I'M YELLING!" I walk and plop myself in a chair, then pick up my book, HOW TO FART. "WHERE'D YOU GET THAT?" Emma growls in a creepy voice. I look at her. "Oh, this?" Holding up a random locket that magically appeared in my hands. "None of your business, Voodoo-Queen. Yeah, I know what you've been doing. Using yer spells to make out with Wacon." "You shut your mouth and take that locket back to Freddy Kruger! It came from him. It'll manipulate you! And he'll come in yer dreams."
  8. "Ethan Lake!" Too late. Her boring speech puts me to sleep. I'm on the hill again. I realize that the girl is Lena! Suddenly, she morphs into Freddy Kruger. Oh, SH**! I see someone step into the dream. I turn to see the CHARMED sisters, MADONNA, YOUR MOM, AND KELLY CLARKSON, standing there. THEY all leap towards Freddy and start beating the crap out of him. I laugh like a manic, then drive away in a car with Paris Hilton. END OF THE DREAM.
  9. So should I make part two? Please comment or rate if you want more of Beautiful creatures parody. Any ideas, characters, randomness will be put in the next part! Hope I see you! (NO EFFECT!)

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