Which pastor are you?

Answer these interview questions to see what well-known American pastor you really are. If you’ve been in a Christian in the past decade, chances are you’ve heard of one of these guys.

Click the answer choice that best fits with your answer. They may not completely fit with one of the pastors, but the choices are pretty close to what you’d expect.

Created by: L.S. Merritt

So when is that whole millenial reign of Christ exactly?
- It will begin when Christ returns, as the plain reading of Revelation says.
- The millenial reign started when Titus sieged ole Zion in AD 70, he will reign till the Father makes His enemies a footstool...
- Its hard to say, but the millennium is not literally 1000 years, I can tell you that much.
- well I don’t know if the Bible clearly says, but i think you should focus on living your best life now
Congratulations, you just had a baby! Should we prepare the water for baptism?
- Yes of course, I want all my kids to enter into the church covenant through the sign of baptism.
- Yes. And prepare the wine too, i think paedocommunion is also biblical.
- You can prepare it, but i wont need it for maybe a decade. Baptism is for believers only.
- I think the child should wait till they are old enough to appreciate such a ceremonious occasion. I find the backyard pool of a mansion to be a great place for such an event.
Are tongues and prophecies gifts for the church today?
- Yes. I think a lot of the Charismatic Movement is wrong, however the church needs to get back to desiring all the gifts of the Spirit in a biblical way.
- No. 1 Corinthians clearly teaches that these gifts will fade away when the perfect revelation, our New Testament canon, has come. And tongues only refers to speaking in another language, which of course God may enable a believer to do if necessary.
- No. And holding that stance is dangerous and a hiderance to the gospel today.
- Well i actually think everyone is a prophet in their own way.
I noticed your white. What have you done to pay reperations to your black brothers and sisters lately?
- Anyone who asks this question clearly doesn’t understand biblical justice. I suggest you go read the statement i help write.
- I’m ashamed to say i use to harbor racism, but now I’ve repented. To answer your question, Ive spoken at some evangelical conferences on this issue to help reconcile white and black Christians.
- We have many black people at my church. In fact they are one of our biggest donating demographics.
Lots of people wear red hats these days, was America really ever great?
- I don’t think so. The founders of this country were revolutionaries, which is condemned in the Bible.
- Yes, there are many things about the founding of this country that made America great, The American revolution was a just thing to be apart of for a Christian because of the doctrines of the lesser magistrates. Christians on the other hand should not have taken part in the French Revolution for instance.
- Who cares. We should really only focus on the Church being great again like during the reformation.
- Of course. Why else would God bless us so materialistically?
Who is your favorite theologian in the last 500 years of church history?
- Jonathan Edwards
- Martin Luther
- C.S Lewis
- hmm...i don’t know. I like creflo dollar a lot
What bible translation do you like the best?
- KJV
- NASB
- ESV
- The message
Whats your favorite beer?
- Black douglas or maybe the oatmeal stout down at the local pub.
- I’m a tea totaler mate.
- I’m more of a champagne guy myself
When does your next book come out?
- One second, let me grab my pen. What did you ask? Oh here’s one i just now finished
- I’m working on one right now about the sovereignty of God
- If commentaries count, i should finish one in the next few months.
- Once I finish the photo shoot for the book cover, it should be at lifeway within a week
Finally, could you leave us with some parting words?
- Sure, “what’s wrong with you people”!
- “Read my book”
- “Until next time, go serve your...” oh wait Todd friel isn’t a possible result.
- “Thanks for tuning in. “
- “ don’t waste your natural potential, you’ve got what it takes to get fully loaded”

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