Old Presidents Quiz

This is a quiz about old presidents. When I say presidents, I mean Presidents of the United States of America, the only country that exists. When I say old, I mean pre-WWII, but mostly 19th century.

If you would like a quiz about recent presidents, please send me $2,499 and I will make one posthaste. If you were curious, I plan to spend the money on a new toilet. If you do not want that quiz but would like to support me in this endeavour, feel free to send the money anyway.

Created by: gary

Which president had the first Christmas tree in the White House?
- George Washington
- John Adams
- Franklin Pierce
- Benjamin Harrison
- Donald Trump, who made Christmas great again
- Historians do not know for sure, it is variously claimed to be Pierce or Harrison
- No President has ever had a Christmas tree
The writer Nathaniel Hawthorne made what claim about James Buchanan?
- He had a homosexual relationship with Vice President William King
- He held his head at an odd angle because he had once tried to cut his throat
- He was a furry
- He could not read
- He was the worst president in American history
- He was the second best president in American history after Hawthorne's BFF Franklin Pierce
- There was no such person as James Buchanan
William Henry Harrison died after being president for...
- An hour
- A day
- A week
- A month
- A year
- A decade
- A century
- He is still alive
Abraham Lincoln's horse, Old Bob, was named so to distinguish him from Young Bob, who was...
- Another horse
- Lincoln's pet dog, who he had to leave behind in Illinois because the dog was afraid of unfamiliar people and places and would have been too distressed by the move to Washington
- Lincoln's eldest son, Robert Todd Lincoln
- Confederate general Robert E. Lee
- Bobby Kennedy (Lincoln had a psychic connection with all past and future victims of assassination, and so knew of Kennedy and his brother's existence more than half a century before either was born)
Which president came close to joining the Donner Party?
- George Washington
- Andrew Jackson
- Abraham Lincoln
- Ulysses S. Grant
- Richard Nixon
- All of the above
Thomas Jefferson invented which of these things?
- Mac n cheese
- Cornflakes
- The swivel chair
- Masturbation
- Racism
- The pythagorean triangle
- The cello
- The United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland
Whose job as a customs officer did Chester A. Arthur secretly protect while he was working at the Port of New York before his presidency?
- Future president William McKinley
- Moby Dick author Herman Melville
- Edwin Booth, brother of Lincoln assassin John Wilkes Booth
- His own nephew, which led to accusations of nepotism and caused a scandal during his presidency
- He did not protect anyone and in fact fired all of the workers during a strike
The 1959 Billboard Hot 100 #1 hit song "The Battle of New Orleans" is about a famous battle of the War of 1812, and mentions a president who fought in the battle. The lyrics mistakenly refer to him as a colonel, when he actually held the rank of major general. Which president was this?
- George Washington
- James Madison
- James Monroe
- Andrew Jackson
- William Henry Harrison
- Zachary Taylor
- Franklin Pierce
- Trick question, there was no such song, no such battle, and no such chart as the Billboard Hot 100
Which president was the first to have a bathtub with running water installed in the White House?
- Thomas Jefferson
- John Quincy Adams
- Martin Van Buren
- Millard Fillmore
- Franklin Pierce
- Rutherford B. Hayes
- Bill Clinton
- There has yet to be a bathtub installed in the White House, presidents instead walk through a special car wash known as the PresidentWash™
Which president wrote the book "Fishing For Fun and to Wash Your Soul"?
- John Tyler
- Zachary Taylor
- Ulysses S. Grant
- Woodrow Wilson
- Calvin Coolidge
- Herbert Hoover
- Richard Nixon
- The book was published under Donald Trump's name, but was actually written by a ghostwriter
Who were the shortest and tallest presidents?
- James Madison was the shortest, Abraham Lincoln was the tallest
- John Adams was the shortest, Lyndon B. Johnson was the tallest
- James Madison was the shortest, Lyndon B. Johnson was the tallest
- John Adams was the shortest, Abraham Lincoln was the tallest
- The constitution stipulates that one has to be 5'11'' to be president, so all of them have been that exact height
What did Carl Panzram steal from former president William Howard Taft's house?
- Taft's official presidential portrait
- Documents revealing that Taft had engaged in corruption during his time in office
- A grand piano, which he wheeled out of the house and into a moving truck, tricking the neighbours into thinking that the Taft family were leaving town
- A diary in which Taft confessed that he had a crush on Teddy Roosevelt
- A roast possum, which Taft had just sat down to eat for dinner before Panzram's accomplice rang the doorbell and distracted him
- A gun that he went on to murder 10 people with
James K. Polk is the first and, as of 2021, only president to sport which hairstyle?
- Mohawk
- Mullet
- Rattail
- Buzzcut
- Pompadour
- Afro
All but two of the presidents from Lincoln to Taft had facial hair. Who were the two that did not?
- Johnson and Harrison
- Hayes and Harrison
- Johnson and McKinley
- Hayes and McKinley
Theodore Roosevelt and William Howard Taft were close friends and political allies, but had a falling out and even ran against each other in the 1912 election. In 1918, where did they rekindle their friendship?
- A parade in Washington celebrating the end of World War I
- A hotel restaurant in Chicago
- A hunting lodge in Montana
- The White House, at a meeting orchestrated by President Woodrow Wilson to bring the two former friends together
- Taft's home in Ohio, over a planned meal of roast possum, but when Taft got up to answer the door, it was not Roosevelt as he expected but a lost stranger who asked him for directions, and when he went back to the table, his roast possum had disappeared, so when Roosevelt finally got arrived, they had to eat the side salad as a main course, and they bonded over their disappointment at the lacklustre meal
Who was the first only child to be elected president?
- George Washington
- Thomas Jefferson
- John Tyler
- Millard Fillmore
- Ulysses S. Grant
- Rutherford B. Hayes
- Joe Biden
- Every president has had siblings
The word "sockdologizing" is significant in presidential history for what reason?
- George Washington used it in his inaugurual speech, but it was not clear from context what it meant and nobody has ever been able to find a definition of the word, though there are a number of plausible theories
- It was a practice invented by Thomas Jefferson, which involved attaching your socks to a string and putting both feet in them at once, rather than putting them on one foot at a time
- The absurd insult "sockdologizing old mantrap" was the punchline in a joke in the play that Abraham Lincoln was watching when he was killed; his assassin timed it so the laughter at this line would cover the sound of the gunshot and give him a chance to escape before the crowd realised what had happened
- A play on the word "sock" and "apologizing" which was coined after Warren G. Harding gave an incoherent speech apologizing for spending $2,000 of taxpayer money on socks
Toy companies attempted to recreate the success they had with teddy bears, named after Theodore "Teddy" Roosevelt, by creating which toy in honour of a subsequent president?
- Billy Possum, after William Howard Taft
- Woody Woodpecker, after Woodrow Wilson
- Cool Cat, after Calvin Coolidge
- Herbie Tiger, after Herbert Hoover
- Frankie Horse, after Franklin D. Roosevelt
- All of these ideas sound very stupid and I do not believe that even one of them is real
As of 2021, which 19th century president has a living grandson?
- John Quincy Adams
- William Henry Harrison
- John Tyler
- Franklin Pierce
- James Buchanan
- Abraham Lincoln
Which president did Harry Truman describe as both "the best looking President the White House ever had" and "a nincompoop"?
- Thomas Jefferson
- John Quincy Adams
- Millard Fillmore
- Franklin Pierce
- Ulysses S. Grant
- Rutherford B. Hayes
- Calvin Coolidge
- Harry Truman

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