Anhedonia
Thread Topic: Anhedonia
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I most just blank post here now don't i
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I'll text everybody every day asking how they're doing if I need too.
I don't care if its annoying. I genuinely want to hear if you're doing good or bad and I want to see what happened in your day
but I will never, ever talk to you about my own feelings.
I'll stay quiet, I'll listen to you, but my feelings have been used against me too many times. its better to just wipe your personality and be the beam of support everybody needs but cant have because they feel like their a burden. its not bottling up my emotions cuz venting wont do anythhing to fix it. -
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this is not funny. not to mention my lungs feel like they have liquid in them but I feel so anxious. its not like yri to be offline for three days and shes been having issues with the bus and last time I talk to her she was going to the bus. Im probably overeacting, but its still so worrying. why do I et attached like a puppy? genuinely shes one of the few people I connect with and be open to and if I lost that i'd lose my mind I swear I hope shes okay
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I told her I was about to end it all and she said I was desperate and depression was kinda pathetic and it was just letting other people win
Oh! Okay!
Then I told her I was really gonna do it and went offline all she said was “well I don’t want you to die but”
Really. -
I know it’s so dumb to compare my life to an anime character.
I feel like I can’t save her. I feel like she will die no matter how hard I try. She’s grieving the loss of herself and all I can see is Oda and Dazai. When I said we were Oda and Dazai I didn’t mean like this. Idk.
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