How are you guys so confident?
- Locked due to inactivity on Jul 17, '25 3:54am
Thread Topic: How are you guys so confident?
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I'm really struggling with my confidence right now. It's gotten to the point where I don't even want to show my face or show any signs that I exist. I'm shutting down, I'm not responding to messages, I'm dropping out of whatever was planned with other people, and I'm giving up on things I usually love. What can I do to feel more confident? Even if I try to find something I think I'm good at, there are always people better than me. I feel like no one and I'll never do good enough. I feel like this in everything I do.
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hellooooo! i want to start off by saying that you’re doing amazing simply by just being here and sharing your thoughts. i went through something really similar for a couple years and i know how absolutely mundane it can feel especially when it takes away your appreciation for your own creations even if you were originally proud of it or worked hard on it. even though it takes a little while to get past that stage, the key is to change your mindset, and be gentler on yourself and your work
one super nifty thing that helped me was remembering that comparison is the thief of all joy. there’ll always be people who’re more skilled or confident under any circumstances, but that doesn’t mean your own creations or efforts are worth any less. the goal with being confident in your own works and self isn’t to be the best, it’s to love what you’re doing, stay unbridled by other people, and to stay true to yourself and your passions
and also, actually most people aren’t confident. majority of them are just really good at pretending because they’re afraid of being seen as insecure. true confidence at its core isn’t about showing off. confidence is about doing what you love shamelessly while growing and learning at whatever pace you’re comfortable with 💛💛💛 -
MASSIVE respect for reaching out and asking for help and advice. Kudos to you
This isn't about confidence in particular, but I try to remember that the opposite of depression isn't happiness, it's expression. No matter how stupid and pointless it may seem, just by showing up to things and expressing your interests, or working on a project you're interested in- even if you think that project is going to turn out stupid- can do tremendous things for your depression and self esteem if you keep continuously doing it.
I agree with what Espie said. Comparisons will kill you, and that's something I'm working on as well. Picture it like a hike with a beautiful waterfall at the end. Sure, some people are able to get a four wheeler or dirtbike and blitz through the trail, but the hikers who need more time and training for the hike will not only get the waterfall, but the experience and an ability to connect more to the nature around them as well. That might be an odd analogy though, so TLDR: Just because other people are able to do something faster or easier or "better" than you doesn't mean it isn't worth doing.
Remember, life isn't just about having talents and using them, but it's also about learning how to push through when your talents don't feel like enough, or when you're trying something you wouldn't think you're talented in. It's about learning how to learn, and learning what works best for you
Hope this helps :) -
I appreciate the advice. Thank you.
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of course, we're more than happy to help! i hope things do get better for you
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