My corner
Thread Topic: My corner
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I desperately need a hug
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Oh that's embarrassing, my eyebrows just relaxed when I thought abt hugging him
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He asked me to promise that id never leave him. Ofc I promised it. Funny, I was js thinking this morning that I was scared of him potentially leaving me one day.
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Why did I promise that...?
Ofc I'd never want to leave him. But now I basically also promised I'd never kms. Which idk if that's true. Wtvr it's fine, I'm js terrified of hurting him -
Cut my hair
And then I'll cut my skin
Hurt myself
Instead of hurting him -
Minus the "cut my hair" part, that's basically it
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I wish I didn't throw away the blade. I wish I didn't make that promise. Not the one he js told me to make. The other one. That'd id never sh again.
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That*
I thought I was doomed. I thought I'd have to tell someone. I saw fcking white. White! -
I prayed to God that it would heal and i put on a bandaid after washing it off. I opened my Bible so fast. If only I was that fast to open it now.
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I thought I would need stitches until I opened that Book. Well, I kinda still thought it then, but like when I went to sleep- nvm.
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It's healed now. That was November 18th. I have no clue why I'm saying this on a public website. Nobody knows of what I did to myself on that day except whoever might read this and God.
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I haven't cut since then. I want to. At first I was scared. What if I see white again? But it healed, so who gives a fck? Disgusting. I'm absolutely disgusting for thinking that.
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It was from a pencil sharpener. Snuck downstairs to unscrew it, got scared and didn't unscrew it all the way.. not gonna explain how I got it open without the screwdriver. Because what if someone reads this and tries it? Please don't. You'll never want to stop. Or thats how I feel.
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I'll never be able to get these scars off of my fcking body. All I can do is hide them.
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I knew it. I enjoyed too many days of thinking about him without having to be worried about him. And I didn't even deserve those days.
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