Just some thoughts

  • Locked due to inactivity on Oct 8, '18 3:54am

Thread Topic: Just some thoughts

  • avatar
    Anastasia Hot Shot
    "Just find whatever makes you happy."

    Isn't the best advice when you're at the place where nothing honestly makes you happy anymore.

    "The point of life is whatever you want it to be."

    Some people are at the place where any so called point they come up with isn't enough to justify the energy it takes to live. In that place, death and destroying ourselves seems a better alternative.

    When I talk about depression, I'm not talking about having a bad day or just being unhappy. I'm talking about emptiness. The place where you see that unless something changes life is a meaningless, torturous hell.

    What has our society taught us the meaning of life is? Money? Sex? Success? Evolving to a higher level? Then why aren't those things giving us lasting happiness? What's the point of getting a high score at life if everyone just dies anyway?

    "That's morbid!" Well, it's honest. If there isn't spiritual truth, then we're just a bunch of animals lying to ourselves that we're making a difference in a nihilistic universe.

    But there's too much evidence to the contrary. Complex, intelligent, creative life demands purpose. Well then there must be a purpose, or we live in a maddening reality.

    "Your faith is just a crutch!" "You sound insane!"

    Lol. Human beings naturally depend on something. We become addicted to sex, drugs, alcohol, food, power, money, pride, relationships, self righteousness, ect. I make no claims to be strong. I'm weaker than a weight lifting butterfly.

    Jesus spoke on knowing something based on the fruit it produces. Basically, we reap whatever we sow. I sowed corrupt seed and reaped corruption. When I decided to give the Bible a chance, I reaped life.

    The idea of this world being meaningless and just a result of random chance is pretty insane to me. So I guess if we're all guilty of insanity, which insanity produces good fruit? That's all I'm looking for.

    This world offers a lot of different answers. Our job is to seek the truth and see what holds up without prejudice. We fall into insanity when we do the same things and expect new results. I don't want to just see people barely managing their depression and suicidal thoughts. I want to see people healed and whole. This is my life mission. If it takes me looking like a fool in the world's eyes, that's a small price to pay to see my friends and people I love and care about know why they exist.
  • avatar
    barberbob2 Senior
    I'm glad you found something to hold on to. Everyone needs that. And while I'd say that this post should go in the garden, I'm happy you got to express it.

    I personally find my happiness and purpose from my willingness to bring it to others. I love going to coffee shops or sandwich shops and asking the cashier to make me whatever their favorite is. (I'm not a picky eater so this always works out for me.) We talk about the food or drink and if its custom, then how they discovered it. And I leave with a new friend, a new taste, and knowing that I brightened their day for a bit.

    That's my purpose in life right now. Its subject to change, but I get the final say on how it changes. And that's okay by me. No God. No addiction. Little moments of happiness and connection.
  • avatar
    Anastasia Hot Shot
    Hey James! It's good to see you again. That's actually an interesting idea about the coffee shops. I should try that sometime.

    The thing is, when I wrote this post, the subject I'm wanting to address is the kind of depression that leads people to want to kill themselves. This is a real problem, and something I see commonly on here. I've been through it, and now I'm healed from it.

    There's a lot of things we can do that can bring fleeting moments of happiness, but none of those things ever brought me purpose or peace. Peace is worth infinitely more than carnal pleasure.

    There are things in life that I needed and wanted more than material prosperity. Questions of morality, justice, truth, love, and meaning. If complex life exists in a complex universe without a reason, nothing truly matters. Some will see no point in continuing to live, while others will see nothing to hold them back from becoming tomorrow's next terrorist.

    I do agree that my posts here can overlap with the Garden, since I believe that Jesus Christ brings real healing to this issue. My intention is to speak on depression as more than just something to throw pills at, but to question how our actions and beliefs can bring us to the place of wanting to die.

    If what I choose to hold onto is destructive, I'll reap rotten fruit, but if what I believe and hold onto is the truth, I'll reap good fruit. I had to be honest with myself in this process. There are certain things I held onto that were killing me, and letting go of them was hard, but when I did finally let go of them and repented, I healed and gained peace. I don't regret leaving them behind or miss them.

    My advice is not simply "become religious" or "believe in a god" and all your problems will go away. I had to seek reality, not escapism. I had to examine my heart on whether or not I wanted the truth or something that affirmed my feelings. I had to consider that I didn't have all the answers but that the answers do indeed exist.

    Out of all the beliefs and methods the world has offered me, it's only been the God of the Bible that has proved true. It wasn't a church, denomination, or magic formula. All I did was decide to take Christ at His Word.

    So now I just write on what I know. I came back to GTQ because this site has been such a large part of my life, and because I love you guys. These conversations are worth having. If I know firsthand that suicidal depression can be healed, I want to share that life with everyone.

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