I self harm and I need help, but I don't know where to go
- Locked due to inactivity on Jul 26, '18 3:54am
Thread Topic: I self harm and I need help, but I don't know where to go
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Hazza NewbieThe thing is, I know that I have some sort of problem.
Despite having depression, my anxiety has heightened to the point where even someone I'm not familiar with glancing in my direction, scares me. I feel like I'm being watched 24/7. Even though I know I'm not, the fear is still there.
I'm lonely, too. My "friends" ignore me, actually. So I can't ever tell them anything. Even if they do listen, they don't understand that I'm suffering with my thoughts and they call me overdramatic. But I get these little flashes of me hurting myself and my mind urges me to do them and they only get harsher until I've done them.
Like I started doing self harm, and I'm not proud but it's the only way I feel like I control my body. My emotions have numbed, but I love the feeling of cutting and then pouring alcohol on them to make it hurt.
It only occured to me recently that what I'm doing isn't okay and that I need to get help. Suicide hotlines are bulls---, and whenever I try to talk to my family about it, they avoid the topic and ignore me.
I'm scared to talk to my counselor or teachers at school because I don't know what they'll do and I'm scared they'll call me insane.
I do have one teacher I can trust to understand, but I don't know how to approach the topic. Any suggestions?? Thank you. -
Honestly, in a situation like that, the only place you really can go to is a school counselor, or perhaps an outside therapist that your school counselor may be able to point you out to. I wouldn't go to a teacher, unless you really trust them, but school counselors are trained for stuff like this. You're not alone in your suffering with problems like this, and they know how to help. All it takes is you being able to say that you do.
Of course, you don't have to go off the batt and straight up say that you're dealing with self harm. The whole point of therapy is slowly working up to what the problem is. So tell them about your anxiety and anything else bothering you, and then work your way up at your comfort. You can ask to make regular appointments with them; that's the nice thing about school counselors, they're free.
But I was in a similar situation once, and this really helped me out, and I'd highly suggest doing the same. -
I know what you're going through, and I just wrote a response in Hiccstrid's thread in the Garden about my experience with depression. This isn't something you can beat in your own strength, and counselors can only do so much.
I'll tell you the truth. Only going to Jesus Christ for salvation healed me of depression. Apart from Him we can't fix our spiritual condition. We were made to belong to God, but because of sin, rebellion and hating God this world is breaking down. God loves you and He cares. No matter how bad things are, if you go to Him He will save you. -
I started writing poetry. Every time I wanted to self harm, I grabbed a pencil and paper and wrote whatever came to mind. I just wrote until I felt better. Eventually, the need to write stopped. I haven't written a poem in 4 years. I haven't self harmed in 4 years. I have 320 poems. That's 320 times I chose not to hurt myself. Sometimes it didn't work. But 320 other times it did.
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