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- Locked due to inactivity on Aug 4, '16 4:18pm
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Today, I cut my finger with a plastic knife while demonstrating that you can't cut yourself with a plastic knife. FML
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Today, I was standing in the bathroom and farted. It felt like someone stabbed me in the butt. I jumped out of shock, and my head slammed into the mirror. My glasses fell onto the floor and broke. I now need new glasses, a new mirror, and an ice pack for my head. All because I farted. FML
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Wow when someone asked what happened just say it all started with a fart hahahahah XD
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Today, I was sitting on a bus. I'm deaf. An old lady looked very angry at me and started talking. Then she looked like she was screaming. I had to type on my phone that I'm deaf. Apparently, I'd been stepping on her foot. She decided to poke me in the eye and type, "Now you're blind too." FML
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Today, I went to the gas station, paid the clerk, and drove off without pumping any gas. FML
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Copy cat. -.-
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volleyballs hate me
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Today, I went over to my neighbours' to politely complain about their dog, which had been barking non-stop for hours. This issue has been going on for months, and I finally decided today, of all days, was the day to resolve it. When I got there, they'd just got home from giving birth at the hospital. FML
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Today, at work, a customer threatened to punch me in the face because the store I work at doesn't have shopping baskets, only carts. FML
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