That awkward moment when you glance at someone staring at u.
- Locked due to inactivity on Aug 4, '16 4:17pm
Thread Topic: That awkward moment when you glance at someone staring at u.
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As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman."
She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?"
A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!". -
Popsicle Stick - $1
Caramel - $3
Onions - $4
Watching your friends biting into a caramel onion thinking it's an apple - Priceless -
The awkward moment when you open a birthday card in front of the person who gave it you. Then you realize that there is no money in it so you read it with a lost smile and a little hate inside because you gave them $20 for their birthday...
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I Don't Need Anger Management. You Just Need To Stop Pissin' Me Off
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Lord please give me patience, because if you give me strength, I may just beat the living crap out of someone..
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Guy1 : Did you know that "sugar" is the only word in the English language that the "su" makes a "sh" sound?
Guy2 : Really?
Guy1 : Yeah, for sure. -
It has been scientifically proven that any women can be satisfied with only 3.5 inches. The good thing is that it doesn't matter whether it's Visa, MasterCard or Amex.
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*Texting dad*
You: Hey dad, can I get some money for some coke?
Dad: Sure... is $60 enough?
You: Dad. It's $1.25.
Dad: Wow, the price sure went down from when I was a kid...
You: DAD! COCA-COLA?
Dad: Oh... -
My wife felt smug the other day after she told me that my p---- resembles a tic-tac. I soon wiped the smile off of her face when I asked, "If that's the case, then why does your sister still have bad breath?"
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So two blondes are driving to Disneyland. On a billboard near the exit off the highway it says,"Disney Left."
So they turn around, and cry all the way home.
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