Death At Your Fingertips
Thread Topic: Death At Your Fingertips
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I'm breaking down but look alright. I hate this. I hate myself.
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I laugh when I don't want to. I smile when I just want to rot away. Do things and you'll get into the mindset. No. Do things and I hate myself for pretending.
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I don't even want to talk to anyone about it anymore. If anyone asks, I just ignore them or tell them I don't feel like talking. It's like any time I talk to someone, I'm utterly depressed, so now I just don't talk at all since I never have anything good to talk about. I'm sure people get tired of asking me how I'm doing just to hear that I'm not doing any better.
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I feel so alone, but at the same time, I just can't be around anyone anymore. I know they're get tired of seeing me like this. I only show up when I'm up.
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I haven't messaged my friends in days.
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It hurts so much, and its hard to fight them urge to buy something on Amazon.
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Make it stop. It's tearing me apart.
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Life is just a distraction from the inevitable pain and suffering that will forever haunt you. Life is a lie.
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I've questioned my life since 16. I fell into an existential crisis. It's a pit so deep that I never climbed out of. I just keep falling deeper in, suffocated by the lies of the world and what life is said to be, but faced with the bitter truth.
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Life is a f---ing lie. We all live to die slowly, tortured while we're alive. The good that happens doesn't outweigh the bad. It's not worth it, yet people pretend there's something to live for. There isn't. It's a f---ing lie.
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They all live in delusion, thinking something great comes from being alive when we're all really just here to suffer.
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And it's a life I'm stuck living.
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I tried to be happy today and got shot down. I was genuinely happy, but now I feel 6 feet under.
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I need to go on a walk. I can't take this anymore.
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I'm at my limit
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