I feel like I can’t even be fully vulnerable with anyone but myself,, mostly everyone I know has hurt me in some way and I can’t be honest with them about my feelings and thoughts because I’m scared of them leaving. everything I do makes another person want to leave even more than the last one. I don’t even get how people still call me a friend or how I managed to have a relationship for this long. I’m not special. I’m not a great person and I hurt others or am too sensitive. that sensitivity and emotional part of me makes people not wanna talk with me anymore. they’re probably friends with me because they feel bad.. besides I’m a token “weirdo” anyways. no wonder why everyone left me once quarantine started..
I wonder if it’s bad that as a witch/wiccan that I wanna work with Lucifer,, I mean he is a kind deity even though many people think he’s evil. he would be great to help out with my mental health and do shadow work but I need to get a black candle for him specifically then >:( I can’t use my red one since it’s for artemis
I don’t like being yelled at, so if I get yelled at a bit I’ll shut down a bit. I accidentally closed a cabinet a bit too loud and I got yelled at for it and got called out for always shutting down when I do. I only shut down in the first place because I got yelled at for being too quiet after I was told my grandma was the phone. so what was I supposed to do? keep being loud and get yelled at? I can’t do s--- in this house. I’m either too emotional or I don’t care. I’m being myself and now I’m getting in trouble for it