My Tear Jar

Thread Topic: My Tear Jar

  • avatar
    ello Advanced
    Man I just... I f---ing can't.. deal with any of this anymore.. between Ariana and the stress from highschool, the book being wayy to much and the hot water breaking..

    The hot water sucks... I can't shower, don't have any clean clothes or blankets, I'm using my sweater as a blanket right now and I'm still shaking...

    And then everyone at school decided "Let's pick on that mother f---er" so school is 10x worse..
    And I can't find my headphones.. Even if I had them, we can't listen to music in school anymore..

    f--- I just want to die.... What's so great about living anyway? We stay alive so other people can benefit from us? So they can step on us and we can step on other people?
  • avatar
    ello Advanced
    Maybe if I go to sleep and don't wake up till after dad took Anthony to school I'll get to stay home..
    Or if I stab the tires of the car..
    Yesterday I threw up but mom didn't care. I told her I felt like crap and how much pain I was in and she didn't car. She just kept saying "you're going to school"..
    Why don't they ever listen to me? I do everything they ask, I don't ask for much, and when I do it takes like two months until someone gets around to giving me seven f---ing dollars..
  • avatar
    ello Advanced
    Someone f---ing kill me
    It's not fair goddamn it!
  • avatar
    ello Advanced
    Since the hot water hasn't been fixed, I have less clean clothes
  • avatar
    ello Advanced
    Kill me
    Right after I kill Hector
  • avatar
    ello Senior
    Spoiler alert younger me: still don't have that seven dollars.

    It amazes me how I can still wake up middle of the night to use the bathroom and get yelled at. Oh well. It can't be helped. Really the only bad things going on right now are you're always sick and always feel like s---, and you've had so many days off from school if you miss another mom'll go to jail or pay like a 1,000 bucks or something. Honestly don't blame yourself, blame her. She couldn't be bothered to call or send a note. Then she acts like you PURPOSELY got sick and PURPOSELY got in so much pain you couldn't move.

    Speaking of, guess who still hasn't gone to the hospital??
    Well if you guessed me, boy are you correct. I don't wanna sound like a myrtr, I just wanna rant about it where I know someone will see it. Doesn't matter if they act on it or not just see it.

    So, this is it, huh? We're finally going to highschool. Well, it's gonna be scary. Let's just hope your grades stay exactly the same, but the ones for health go up. Those suck, and I'm honestly not sure if I'm failing or not since the grades for it are all over the place.

    Well, this is it for now. See you later, me
  • avatar
    ello Senior
    I wanna die
    So. Much.
    Because of Hector I got placed in a mental institution.. I was crying and s---. There was a cute girl there and we kept glancing at each other, but a few things

    - I'm taken
    - We were both hella shy anyway
    - there was like 7 other people in the room and we were being watched
    - I'm pretty sure it was prohibited
    - I was covered with my blanket and there was still tears on my face
    - without my hat or hoodie I looked ugly as hell
    - I was the only one who had to wear a wristband and that was embarrassing

    So they thought I was a crisis, and a school shooter. They took all my stuff including my freaking PANT LACES

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