I don't feel well.
- Locked due to inactivity on Aug 4, '16 4:35pm
Thread Topic: I don't feel well.
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I'm done talking to people about my problems, because it never seems to go through their heads.
I f---ing show them to actually pay attention to me and they'll learn their stupid, f---ing lesson.
uGH -
Oh don't use the f bomb please I should use it to tell u though and btw people really ignore me here :(
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I just did. If you have a problem, go f--- off, please. I have no time to care about anyone anymore, since the feeling is mutual with everyone towards me.
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???
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What happened? :\
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So much things. It's like October is the month of sheer, Death Metal hell.
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Hmm, do wanna talk about them? I'm here to listen.
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I don't want anyone to like me, touch me, look at me, talk to me. There face makes me f---ing sick. I wish they would just disappear and never come back.
I hate being in relations with people that are so absorbed with themselves and are just so- uGGGH I f---ING HATE EVERYTHING -
I see *hugs you* Why don't you just try to breath in and out?
Why don't you want any one talking to you? -
I'll copy paste everything I pathetically yelled about in one of my kik group chats.
"And something happened. I just felt more depressed than I ever had before and I still do. The episode usually goes away but it's still lingering strong. I just feel like nobody cares and if I were just to somehow commit self-inflicted murder on myself, no one would notice. No one. Everyone's to absorbed into their lives to help me. Not even my own Mom, which is never there for me when I need her the most.
She won't listen in depth. She'll just say "You're just a teenager, you're just going through that phase" and walk away like an ignorant prick she always is. She always thinks she right when I'm always the one to f---ing step up and question her unbelievably absurd and dumb beliefs which contains no substance at all. Trying to get my mom to empathize is hard, especially for me. For my sister, especially when she's older and much more appreciated, she would understand.
And now I'm always berated sometimes or I feel really guilty because my sister says that all my mom would pay attention to is the bills and me and she says she never got intention and antagonizes me for it. I never asked to be born, I didn't know I would be brought into this vast, extended universe. I don't even want to live right now, it's so useless. My fate is my grave, and that's all to it." -
I can't. Too much happens to me. I can't handle of this. I can't. There's not even any outlets where I can go and just get away from the unfathomable things, it's sickening. It's always going to be there, tied to me.
I don't know. Every person that talks to me don't like me anyways. People I talk to don't like me anyways. I don't see the point of anything anymore. Living is useless. -
I think you were born for a reason. I care about you, and if you disappeared I would definitely notice. Even if you feel like you aren't getting much from your own mother you still have friends like me who will listen to you. I know I haven't been on as much and I'm sorry for that. But I will try my hardest to be a good friend from now on.
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Okay.
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*pokes you* Do you think I don't care?
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Yes. Honestly, yes. Anyone I encounter doesn't care.
I'm honestly thinking of running away, and I never told anyone this before and I hate talking about it. Everyone here is so strong and I'm so weak and can't handle tough problems and situations. It just isn't my way to deal with stuff, I have a breaking point. And yesterday, I was officially broken. I always have thoughts of doing violent things, killing everyone to have the peace in my head. No matter how much times I turn up the volume to my music to shove the thoughts away, it's always louder than standard volume.
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