Can someone tell me what they think of this?
- Locked due to inactivity on Aug 4, '16 4:34pm
Thread Topic: Can someone tell me what they think of this?
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Jinguji Ren NewbieHey Lady Can you hear?
Transmitted in every sigh
Is an invitationto an amazing dream
To keep the moon afloat in the night sky,
Its encircled by the stars, dreaming & dancing
With shining beauty and splendor,
Give me, give me a young ladys love call
Hold up your hearts light
Yes, get up, get up, get up! Once more, get up, get up, get up!
Thank you! This great mood engulfed in love
Was created by everyone here
In this sea of starlight,
I kiss you for eternity
Together, lets light the world with orange-colored flames
Lets release these passionate emotions
Believe that this rhapsody resonating with those feelings,
No matter the darkness,
This song shall sparkle
On this journey in search of true love,
Take me along, dreaming & dancing
Only centimeters away from your lips,
Seeming to trip, Ill give you, give you a sweet kiss
I want to feel your voices!
Yes, get up, get up, get up! Once more, get up, get up, get up!
Thank you! Our fingers intertwined, see,
Even this tantalizing time
Doesnt seem so bad, right? Now,
I kiss you, come this way
Together, lets see this orange-colored dream to its end
Until this love burns down to zero
With this miraculous, once-in-a-lifetime rhapsody,
Theres no need for words
As our hearts become this song
Together, lets light the world with orange-colored flames
Lets release these passionate emotions
Believe that this rhapsody resonating with those feelings,
No matter the darkness,
This song shall sparkle
Hey Lady Can you hear?
Try closing your eyes
Im by your side! -
Jinguji Ren NewbieAnyone?
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It's hard to imagine what it would sound like, but I like the lyrics.
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It seems good, in my opinion.
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Its kinda good.Needs more rhythm to it though.
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Jinguji Ren Newbiehttp:// www. youtube. com/watch?v=LSOn5fPWHOA
Listen to that for alittle help @Almighty -
kick ass, yo. but yeah, unless your going for a poetic feel, it needs more of a rhythm bro. but i like the concept you have here. talent, dude. you got it.
or luck. it could just be luck.
but lets go for talent. :D -
Jinguji Ren NewbieHeres another one that has abit more 'Rhythm' to it:
Lets hope the futures that we make
That ride this melody
Overlap each other today
Unchanging and firm, like this small phrase
I dont wanna be apart from you
We stumble
We fall, we go together
Towards tomorrow
Without you, even the normal stuff that I do
Is just a mass of noise
Lets ask god to stop this time and take in everything
Time leap and feedback some more
Its enough to make me sigh
I wont let them look away, I wont let them look away
Into your eyes
Lets smile with everything we got, and strive for a better tomorrow
Make a peace sign with 100% energy
At that time, Ill say That word with two characters
My lost heart will fly (Ill make tomorrow with you)
Im charmed by you
And sometimes, I have to fight and or just a big smile
Looking for some small sound
The only way for two people to meet is true music
I get a bit excited
Even the smallest things matter how, no matter how well
Make song & believe song so
The memories were born
What would you say, if people are going into a second song
Lets not care about clumsy things to running around
Cloudy bright sunny peace sign
Perhaps even the universe beyond the big whole world
Does it not lead in the lock?
I believe
I will decide on the stage
Of only two people, the peace sign
Lets smile with everything we got, and strive for a better tomorrow
And giving a 100% thanks of peace sign
At that time, Ill say That word with two characters
And like those wings arent hard to fly
HeyIm full of my feelings..
Ill make tomorrow with you -
Its good.
Dont take this the wrong way,but I happen to be antagonistic.No offence for the christen part.~poof~ -
Jinguji Ren NewbieThat's completely fine, Don't worry
Kay Bye -
try rhyming.
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