My first attempt at writing something remotely
- Locked due to inactivity on Aug 4, '16 4:31pm
Thread Topic: My first attempt at writing something remotely
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October 31st.
Halloween. The Claire household was quiet, the old mansion nearly empty, except for little Grace Claire, only ten years old. There had of course been some hesitation in leaving the girl home alone, her questionable mental state leaving the parents quite unsure, but ultimately Mr. and Mrs. Claire's prior engagement led to them being out of the house. You see, Grace had always been a rather strange child. She was very quiet, only speaking when spoken to, and even then her replies were very small and of few words. When she reached the age of five, however, her behavior grew worrisome. She had no friends at school, and at home she would sit in her room, murmuring to herself.
"Who are you talking to, up there in your room?" Aunts and grandmothers would ask with a smile, trying to coax a conversation out of the child. Her answer was always the same. "His name is Death. He says he's going to take me away someday." This resulted in many greatly disturbed relatives, and over the course of time their visits grew scarce until they stopped coming altogether. She was now even more isolated. Her parents tried countless psychiatrists, but each of them simply laughed at the condition. "It's a phase," They would say. "She'll grow out of it." And she did, momentarily. At the age of eight, she was a very happy child, and the conversations in her room stopped. She went to birthday parties and play dates and spoke more often, more openly, and most importantly to real people. But they say all good things must come to an end. Like a mirror, her sanity seemed to shatter, and on her tenth birthday she locked herself in her room and wouldn't come out. Her parents threatened and banged, bribed and pleaded, but the door remained shut. All day, though they tried to distract themselves, they could hear her laughing. Laughing and talking. She would pause every so often, as if listening to someone's reply. To say it was unnerving would be an impressive understatement. The next day, she opened up the door. Around her neck was a thin silver chain, from which dangled a delicate silver scythe charm. Her parents asked many times where she had gotten it from, but she simply smiled. "Death gave it to me. He's coming very soon." After a week or two had passed, the incident was forgotten, and though Grace still frequently mumbled to herself, she seemed to be returning to the happy girl she had once been. So when Mr. and Mrs. Claire received an invitation to a Halloween party, the decided it would be alright to leave their daughter alone for a few hours. So alone she was, sitting on the floor in the center her room. Her head hung down, pale blonde locks falling down to hide her face. For what seemed like hours there was no sound, save for the rhythm of the great grandfather clock down the hall. Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock. Then suddenly the silence was broken, by a great chiming from the ancient timekeeper. Ding! One. Ding! Two. All the way up to twelve. Midnight. And at the exact moment when the final chime sounded, Grace looked up, an eery smile marring her face's innocent look.
"He's here."
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Mrs. Claire fished her phone out of her purse, hearing the familiar little tune that meant she was getting a call. "Hello?" "Lucinda, hi!" She was answered by the cheerful voice of Ms. Jones, the woman living across the street. "Hello Tam, did you need something?" Mrs. Claire asked. "Oh, nothing really, I just wanted to tell you that your Halloween decorations are amazing! So realistic it's scary!" The upbeat college student laughed. On the other end, Lucinda Claire froze. They didn't decorate the house for Halloween. They never had. She put a quick end to the call and went to find her husband. The drive home wasn't far, but the mounting suspense and panic made it seem like miles and miles. When the old mansion came into view, she barely held back a scream. In the glow of the headlights, a shape could be made out, swinging from the oak tree in the front yard. The Claire's quickly stumbled out of the car, and Lucinda really did scream as they got closer. Little Grace Claire who now had a rope around her neck in addition to her precious necklace. Swinging from the tree's sturdiest branch, that unnerving smile still stuck on her lifeless face. Crimson splotches stood out prominently against the white fabric of her dress, which was torn and tattered. Directly below the small corpse was one single piece of paper, and on it a message scribed in the same red that stained the dress:
I told you he'd come. -
*claps* That was awesome.And kinda scary
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Thank you :3 I just want some feedback since I've never tried to write something scary before.
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I loved it eve. Though it will probly cone back in my nightmares tonight.
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I don't dream .3.
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Well I'd seperate the dialogue and be a bit more descriptive, but other than that its fine.
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Yay~ ^w^ And oops sorry I'm glad it's actually scary tho
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Ah damn diologue will be the death of me XD
And I was trying to keep it a bit vague on the description purposely, but alright. -
Dialogue isn't really hard, just think of what you would say in the situation.
Sorry, but I have to be flamboyant when I'm writing. -
^.^ don't worry if I stay on here long enough it won't crawl into my nightmares. But its good not exactly 'insidious' but its really good.
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No, I meant separating in the right places and all that.
And I usually like to be detailed too, I was just trying something different. Apparently it's not working XD
Oh, I know, I wasn't going for horror movie level, just trying to be a bit creepy ^w^ -
Wow. o-o THAT SHOULD BE SCARY MOVIE FOR HALLOWEEN
It should be called "I Told You" -
Ooh yes can I steal that name Anime? XD
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That was awesome.
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Thank youuuu~ X3
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