Eva. Listen up, I'm not saying this again.
- Locked due to inactivity on Aug 4, '16 4:29pm
Thread Topic: Eva. Listen up, I'm not saying this again.
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Okay. You don't get why I'm mad, or why I hate you. But, goddammit, I'm tired of being misunderstood, so I'm going to try to tell you what legitimate reasons I have for this, along with the totally ridiculous ones my mind gives me.
Let's start with why I got so upset over what barberbob said last night.
For years and years, I have stayed faithful to Justin Bieber. I've loved everything about him, forgiving all the mistakes he has made. Well, as expected, since first grade I've been taking shlt for liking him. And most of the time, it's been worth it. For a very long time, everywhere I turned, all I could hear was, "Oh, Justin Bieber's a gay wad," or "You still like Justin Bieber? He does drugs, you know," or "Justin Bieber's so stupid, why would you ever like him?" Well, I had perfect reasons to like him. He was totally cute, and he was funny, and his songs were amazing. But I didn't know anyone else that liked him. I would usually just assure myself by saying, "Don't worry Leah, he has two million other fans, you're not alone in being hated," but after a while, it just gets to be too much. And, as a fan, I usually try to find a positive side to everything he does. But really, he tattooed a lot of his body, did drugs, got arrested, how am I supposed to find a loophole? The haters LOVED how much trouble he was in, and they figured it was the perfect time to attack me with that. Well, for them, it was. I went down, and I went down hard. That was one month ago. A few days ago, as you have obviously noticed, I got totally into Skrillex. What happened was, I heard some of his music, and it sounded really really good. So I listened to some more, I found out more about him, and decided he was totally epic. I figured hey, I have something new to love! And maybe this time I won't get as much hate. Yeah, I did get something new to love, but I got just as much hate. And when people like barberbob start talking trash about something I love, it hurts worse than when anyone else does it. After hearing him say that, I still loved my Skrillex, but I hated myself for not being able to prove why. As I've said before, I totally suck at proving stuff, so I'm usually just standing there, knowing they are wrong, and that they don't like it, but not knowing how to explain why they're wrong for hating it. And does this make everything I like wrong? No, it doesn't. It just makes me a crappy debater. And I feel absolutely terrible, because I let down whatever I was standing up for, and I'm left questioning everything. I love Skrillex because, as I've said, he's all around epic and makes great music, but also because having something to love makes me feel good inside, and it gives me something to do. When people say things like, "They couldn't care less if you were alive or dead," it really hurts because yes, I knew that, but I didn't like to think about it. I've never loved something that genuinely loved me back. That's why I turn to celebrities and other things to fangirl over. And I know I'm not the only one getting hate, it's just that I process it differently and take it harder than most.
Now for why I hate you.
Well, I guess I should warn you that... This... Is were it gets stupider... Well, it really pissed me off when you said, "She'll be back tomorrow, I'll talk to her and calm her down then," or something like that. I mean, you were acting like I was just some little kid or puppy or something. Like... It's hard to explain, very hard, but that's one reason I hate psychologists. But, even before you pissed me off, I already secretly despised you... You have that beautiful blonde hair, you look perfect, you have all these friends, and... Well, to me you just seemed annoying. But I'd never tell you that because, oh god, don't anyone dare mess with the favorite. So yeah, you've pretty much become my online Lydia. Lydia is this girl in my class. She has beautiful long strawberry blonde hair, and everyone loves her because she's NEVER mean. Everyone always labels her as the smart one, or teachers pet. Since first grade, it's been a competition to see who can outdo the other between her and me. Of course, she gets all the friends and the reputation, when guess what? I'm smarter than her! I actually beat her with the highest GPA in the school, and I was so glad. Because she gets everything, literally. And yeah, I'll admit it, I'm jealous of Perfect Little Lydia. How could I not be? With the ridiculous mindset I have, of course I'm going to be jealous. But now it's summer, and I no longer have any Lydias to deal with. Or wait- do I? Yes, the perfect one, the one everybody loves, right here on beloved GTQ. Just one difference: This one actually is smarter than me, prettier than me, and literally EVERYONE on here hates me. So, yeah, I'm jealous of you. But that sucks, because no matter what I do, I'm going to lose to you. And I'm totally stupid for thinking this, but I do. And there's one things that really sets off my jealousy. Need I even say it? I hope I don't, and I hope you know what I mean, because I don't intend to say it. If you do know what I mean, I don't want to talk about it. But anyway, point is, even before you said that, I hated you a little bit. I just needed some little thing to give me a legit reason to really hate you. I'm really, honestly sorry that I think this, but my mind... I just can't help but feel this way. I know you're going to be really mad at me now that I've said this.
If you still don't understand why I think all this, either I'm not capable of explaining it to you, or I really have some sort of disorder and I don't think anything logical. -
*Kurappu*
Min'na de kuso baka hitobito wa shinri gakusha o yobu hitsuyo to sezu ni, kanojo no honto no kimochi o kyoyu site, ria no tame ni sore o ataete mimashou! -
...I'm so glad that's not in English, and I can't read that.
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Don't worry, it wasn't anything bad nya~
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This post gave me an eye tumour.
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It's not good ta hate gurl :,(
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I basically just said good job for not talking to one of those f---ing idiots they call a psychologist.
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...Yall, I was talking to EVA. If you want to comment, go ahead, but just know that I already feel like a piece of shlt, you can't make me feel any lower than I already do.
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Wait whoa. Whoa. I had no idea you felt this way. You could've told me. Why would you be jealous of me? I can't even begin to list...for starters, I have no friends in real life, hell I have no LIFE other than GTQ. I don't understand why you would be jealous of me. But does it really matter who's "prettier" or "more likable" or whatever society thinks people can be labeled as, none of that stuff is even relevant, I thought we could be friends without any of that mattering? I honestly think you're prettier than me but that shouldn't matter, why am I even saying that because it does not matter, I thought we could be friends besides any of that?
And, yes, I know what you're talking about with that last part there, I've known for a while now but...I'm not sure what to..yeah. I don't know what to say.
And I'm sorry for the whole "She'll be back tomorrow" thing, I can understand why you're upset with me and I'm sorry, I should've taken you more seriously. I'll never be able to really understand why you're upset with bob, but I should've at least been a little more supportive or whatever.
But, Leah, please don't let this affect our friendship, I'm sorry for not understanding you, there's things of mine that no one on GTQ would understand, things I hide from you guys because I don't want it to affect my friendship with anyone. I'm sorry that I don't understand. Please except my apology, JUST PLEASE LET ME LOVE YOU!!!!!!!
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Wow. That's kinda harsh. It's not her fault you're jealous.
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^@Leah
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Eva, I accept your apology, but I'm the one that should be saying sorry. But... Yeah, I do still want to be friends...
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Thank you, Leah. Thank you. Now-*Tackles* CAN I LOVE YOU NOW?
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YAY
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XD Yes.
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