Well, now I feel better...
- Locked due to inactivity on Aug 4, '16 4:24pm
Thread Topic: Well, now I feel better...
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Understand that I don't remember exactly what was said because it's all just blurs to me so it's not like I'm exactly quoting anyone.
Well, today is Tutoring Thursday as you know. For the past few weeks Dasha hasn't come, and I've actually felt relieved. And if you know anything about me, then you should know why I'm relieved.
So today I had most of the time with Mister because I was like the only piano person there, and so when I'm playing I'm doing my best and he asks suddenly "Why are your hands trembling and why are you nervous? I heard you playing in the room and it was very good, and you come up to me and you are messing up. Why do you always freak out when you have to play for me?"
Then I actually remember that I responded "See, now you're like my dad who thinks I suffer too much from anxiety.."
So he asks me why again, and I can't even respond because I'm so close to crying. Then he tells me to go outside with me.
So when we're outside I spill to him just about everything; the issues with my mom, how I feel like a disappointment, how people usually compare me with Dasha..
Of course there I am crying like crazy because hell, I felt so pathetic. Mister had his arm around my shoulder and every time I would be saying "I'm so sorry" he'd tell me that I need to stop apologizing for things that aren't my fault.
So he starts telling me these stories of when he was little and what really made me feel a bit better was when he kept saying that those things he only tells people he really trusts.
And there's a s--- load of things in the middle but let's keep it at his stories. Right before he went back in with me he said something about me being one of the reasons he still bothers to stay to teach in the country, and he said a lot of positive things I've really been wanting to hear.. And it wasn't because he felt sorry or anything, it was so sincere that I just cried again.. >_>
Then we went back in and I played for him without getting all nervous.
It's amazing. I feel closer to an adult than I do to my own 'close' friends or peers. Like if I could relate more, sabes?
And maybe this is creepy or really strange of me, but at one point he asked me about my dad and I said he didn't live with us, and then he said something about "oh, so you don't really have a fatherly figure in the household". Then I realized that all this time since the very end of the 7th grade year, I've viewed my music teacher as the fatherly figure I've never had..
God, today was just a good day to let s--- out.. -
;3; Oh Arisu... I just, I'm glad you have him. I'm glad he's there to give you the hugs and listening that I can't. You one of my closest and best friends, it really makes me wish I wasn't all the way across the country. The more I hear about Mr. G the more I really like him.
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He really is an amazing person, at least to me. So when people call him a b---- or whatever that really upsets me.. >_> I wish you could come meet him, I've told him about you once or twice and he says that he would love to meet such a nice person.
I wish I could hug you right now though. ;_; Half of the time I feel this way because all my close connections are too far.. -
Aww, he doesn't deserve that crap. :I I'd love to meet him, he sounds like a very nice person. :3
Aw, I know. ;3; *virtual huggles* You guys are the best. It's a shame there is so much distance. I still think it's a conspiracy to separate all the awesomeness because this world can't handle it. >:U -
It's mainly the swagfags that tell him that anyway.. And he is, a little weird but who isn't weird anyway. owo
;u; *huggles back* I think that of you all too.. >3> And yeah, I bet it is. They know that once we come together nothing can stop us from making this world amazingly awesome! -
Well the swagfags aren't good company to keep anyway. x3 Yeah, we're all a little weird in our own way. *wiggles arms* :P
Exactly, which is sad because this world needs our beautiful awesome ways. o3o
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