1. What is your age? Under 18 Years Old 18 to 24 Years Old 25 to 30 Years Old 31 to 40 Years Old 41 to 50 Years Old 51 to 60 Years Old Over 60 Years Old 2. What is your gender? Male Female 3. If Chuck Norris met four Ninjas in a dark alley at night while he was blindfolded, what would happen? The Ninjas would kick his ass. Chuck Norris would not be out in a dark ninja-frequented alley at night, no way is he that stupid. Chuck Norris would take off the blindfold and choke all the ninjas with it in the darkness, leaving their soulless bodies wasting away in the alley until dawn, when the vultures would feast on their remains. What do Ninjas have to do with Chuck Norris? 4. If Chuck Norris married Angelina Jolie, what would their daughters look like? Full-lipped ninja princesses of doom. No way Chuck Norris would marry her, he would just sleep with her, dump her and move on. Angelina Jolie does not travel in the same circles as Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris would never be so lucky as to end up with Angelina Jolie after she had Brad Pitt (and by the way, I'm gay for knowing this). 5. Chuck Norris, Arnold Schwartzeneggar, Sylvester Stallone and Steven Seagal get involved in a bar fight. What is the outcome? Arnold Schwarzeneggar would terminate the other three. Steven Seagal and Chuck Norris would use Sly and Ahhnold to clean the floor up after the fight because they would be limp as ragdolls. Chuck Norris would be so busy laughing he would almost get hit once during the fight. Sly would convince the other guys to back off because he would be so scared. 6. Here's another one: If Chuck Norris and Nicole Kidman had a son, what would he be like? A red-headed Opie clone (Richie Cunningham from Happy Days). Kenny from South Park. A Greek God. Who's Nicole Kidman? 7. Who would win, Superman or Chuck Norris? There is no way that could happen as Superman is a fictional character. Superman, unless Chuck Norris had kryptonite, in which case Chuck would win. Chuck Norris, because of course he would bring kryptonite to the fight, he is always one step ahead of everybody else. Superman would win, because he has superhero powers. 8. Chuck Norris is being held captive by terrorists. What ransom would you pay to get him back? 1 billion kajillion dollars. None, because the US doesn't negotiate with terrorists. None, because Chuck would get himself out of there and take care of the terrorists while he was at it. All my life savings, only Chuck wouldn't let me do it for his sake, because then the terrorists would win. 9. You meet a woman on the internet and she claims she is Chuck Norris's sister. What should you do in this situation? Ask her to marry me, unless I am a woman, in which case I would have a sex change and THEN ask her to marry me. Scoff loudly and insist that Chuck Norris would not allow his sister to associate with the likes of you on the internet. Ask for empirical proof before you are willing to accept that God has blessed the world with another set of Norris chromosones. Upon receiving proof, I would ask her to freeze her eggs for future generations so that the world would never be without a rel Explain that she could not possibly be Chuck Norris's sister, as, according to the Norris Fan Magazine issue #47, Chuck is an only child. 10. What makes Chuck Norris so great? I am so frickin' tired of hearing about Chuck Norris. When is this quiz over, anyway? I can't possibly list all the reasons that Chuck Norris is great, it would just take too long. If you have to ask, you could never understand. It is one of the Seven New Wonders of the Universe. 11. True or False: Chuck Norris is a god. True. False, but that is a common misconception. OMG, there are MORE questions? Kill me now. 12. If he could be a tree, what kind of tree would Chuck Norris be? Excuse me? Are you serious? Do I even have to answer this? A mighty oak. Chuck Norris would never choose to be anything other than Chuck Norris.