My pit of sadness
- Locked due to inactivity on Jul 5, '25 3:54am
Thread Topic: My pit of sadness
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Most of the time, I don't feel anything. I don't think I'm depressed. I don't hurt myself in any way. I'm just, lazy and empty. I'm vapid in a way. I just feel wrong. I am wrong. I feel like trying to get my life started is like trying to crawl out of a grave and I don't know if it's because of my ADHD or if it's just because I'm a lazy a--hole. I just can't live with me. I hate Emily. My life has been broken for years and I don't know when it started but I know I wouldn't be this bad if I tried harder. I don't try. I don't try anything. That's why I suck
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I don't like who I am. I wish that was a little less normal. If it were less normal than maybe someone other than morning me would feel pity. In the end though, I'm not a pitiful person. I'm just a bad person. A villain with a complicated backstory who won't change because they think everything is too difficult for their pointless skin. I'm smart enough to go through college, but not smart enough for a scholarship. We couldn't pay for it anyways.
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I wish taking the medication I took in middle school would magically fix all my problems. It would be like "omg, I can't believe I stunned your life like that, I'm so sorry Emily, I'll never do that again. I'm sorry that I kept you from being a functional person so long and I'm so so sorry that I punished you for your mental disorder, I'll never do that again." It really sucks because she gave me this problem. Mom, you tied this burden to my back then you complained I was slow. It is not my choice but I don't know if it is truly the problem. All I know is if someone just... Handed me a job, I'd be grateful that I didn't have to do it myself
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