``Haven't I Given Enough..?``
- Locked due to inactivity on Sep 10, '23 3:54am
Thread Topic: ``Haven't I Given Enough..?``
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im going insane
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I can't do this anymore. I want to die. I'm so tired. Strawberry is gone. All I could do was watch and scream bloody murder as the coyote dragged her up the hill.
IT WAS MY TASK TO CHECK ON THE CHICKENS. IT WAS MY FAULT THAT I HAD MY HEADPHONES IN AND DIDNT HEAR MY SISTER'S CALLS OR MY CHICKEN'S NOISES.
SHES DEAD BECAUSE OF ME AND MY f---ING STUPIDITY. I WANT TO KILL MYSELF SO IM NOT A STUPID BURDEN ON MY FAMILY.
I'm sorry Strawberry. I'm so f---ing sorry.
I miss you.
I miss you so much. -
I miss you sweet baby. I'm sorry Alexis. I'm sorry I killed another one of your chickens. It's all my fault.
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I literally said that I was going to take a break from GoToQuiz to help stabilize my emotions and now it's gotten so much more worse. I don't think I can do this anymore.
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In case anyone is wondering if this means I'm going to come back now.
No. Not yet.
I needed to get it off my chest before I did something drastic. Now I'm back to square one of trying to get myself under control again. -
Might come back. I'm doing better now. Still might stay quiet other than replying to roleplays 'n stuff. Idk.
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I hate myself. I should have auditioned for intermediate dance so that I could have gone to Disneyland as well.
But no. I'm a f---ing wimp. -
not my body...
not my body.
not my body. -
oh my god, I'm going to die, aren't I?
My state proposed its first anti-trans bill.
It most likely won't pass, since California is a REALLY blue state, but if it did...
My GSA teacher might be forced to tell my parents that I am under the trans umbrella. Which will be really bad for me. I don't know what would happen to me if it did happen, but I don't want to know.
And my friends as well...god, I don't want to be thinking about this right now. -
no. we'll all be fine. it won't happen.
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...right?
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fear.
of guns. of death.
what if I'm in my dance classroom if a school shooting happened at my school? I would die. We have glass windows that reach the ceiling. We don't have anywhere to hide other than my teacher's office and our costume room. we also have large mirrors. that would surely give us away. we are also the closest to the entrance of the school, other than the science building.
what about my math classroom? it's a small portable classroom, which means there's nowhere to hide. we are a bit farther away from the entrance, but still close.
how about my science class? we aren't the closest classroom to the entrance, but we are still close. we have plenty of places to hide, but would it be enough?
my English classroom is the farthest away, which also means the safest. I would have the highest survival rate if I were in that class.
My geography class is a bit closer, but not by much. little bit less safe, but still much higher rate of survival than my other classes.
then there's PE. this is where it depends on what we are doing that day. if we are on the football field/track, then low chance. if we are at the PE building, the gymnasium, or the tennis courts, higher chance. if we are on the baseball field, then highest chance. -
my mom: why did you put the chickens away?! it's the middle of the day, go open the door. quit being so lazy.
me, who was paranoid about leaving the chickens out by themselves because I watched one of my chickens be dragged up the hill by a coyote, and I was still traumatized and I didn't want to be the reason why another chicken dies: -
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christians are creepy af
a Christian company came to our school yesterday, fooled our principal, and then proceeded to harass all the students for the entirety of lunch. wtf.
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