Safe Place
- Locked due to inactivity on Feb 4, '24 3:54am
Thread Topic: Safe Place
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everything i say and do is always a stutter or a mispronunciation, i always manage to mess up in one way or another either irl or online
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ive done so much for the friends i reach out to CONSTANTLY offering my support, a listening ear, a shoulder, a friend. i wasn't expecting much on the receiving end but i at least hoped id earn some respect but apparently i cant even earn that
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i feel like such a f---ing disappointment, i fear that my parents will look at me and think the same. i want someone to be proud of me but i dont know anyone who is because im not even proud of myself
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i havent achieved much by trying to be honest to other people other than hatred from the other end (even if they ask for honesty) even when i try to make it CLEAR i meant it in a good manner because sometimes i get too tired to spend an hour checking over it for any mistakes when wording it nicely
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im never going to make it far because i can hardly even get past a conversation without constantly overthinking everything. im not comfortable in my own brain, because i have to manually shut it down and literally mute all my thoughts because they're all overwhelming colors going at turbo pace and i cant keep up with them. its all jumbled
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i cant explain it to other people because when i do they simply look at me weird and turn away
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im so scared and fed up of them turning away because everyone i have right now is someone i dont have, but someone i like to think i have
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and then when i remember that their friendship is a hallucination i manage to convince myself it's vice versa and continue lending them that same shoulder only to get walked on in the process
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im nothing but a f---ing disappointment sometimes. i want to help others and i want to help myself but after taking a break from both i dont know how, and after taking a break suddenly im not worth anything to anyone else
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i hate myself so bad and i really want to do something bad to myself but i dont because i know how it was and how its been. it won't solve anything, it just feeds into addiction and i dont want that. i want to take care of myself and grow as a person but i feel like with each step i take, im stepping in the wrong direction
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i just want to disappear forever but if i do that ill miss everyone
im so f---ing clingy and i wish i wasn't because by being clingy it makes it harder to not care and it makes it harder to leave people who i know i need to leave -
i used to think everything would work out in the end but i dont have that same confidence i used to have
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FASHIONABLY LATE 🔥
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lmao im okay, its chill to be un-chill
jus needed a quick freezer break ig 🥶 but its all cool now
im so grateful for people who have relatable experiences omfg its such a relief not to be alone -
i identify as a fridge. please keep giving me food
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