Like I said, I don't want to just give up on him, though it's very clear why it's never worked out. I don't want to do that. I want to help, if I can, but at the same time, I need to find a way to keep myself from overextending in trying to help him through it. There's only but so much I can do about it. Not everything is my job.
It's a little hard on me, though, and sometimes, it's like I have to mother him on how to act.
I don't like doing that. I want to be his peer, not the one who has to correct him and feel at fault at the same time.
Honestly, it's putting me in a strange position that I don't like.
This might be what psychologically makes me search for someone older. But, he's also kind of cute when manageable.
I just don't want to feel like I have to lecture him and use my 20-year-old business brain to correct him.
I realize I sound so much older when I have to do that, and it makes me shudder.
I wanna be fun and laid back, not the mature corrector.
I just want comfort, but I can't bring that to myself. I'm tired of having to try and be everything for myself. Is it so wrong to want to be in someone else's care? Is it so wrong to wish you could just cry in somebody's arms and feel that they care, and know that you'll be okay?
It must be wrong, or something must be wrong with me.