Bunnie admits stuff
- Locked due to inactivity on Aug 4, '16 4:31pm
Thread Topic: Bunnie admits stuff
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This is gonna be really stupid to admit, but I just wanna get it out cause... I don't know.
Meh, so last night I was really happy that I reached Senior level and whatnot and apparently I offended a few people. I've never offended anyone by doing that before and I guess I was just being a stupid newb drunk on happiness, but then I just got shot down, which is really stupid, because I've had people say things to me on here, that were worse than what they said. I guess I just kind of hurt me more since I thought we were friends and whatnot but okay. So I go into my room and try to sleep which didn't work, it never does, so I listen to this one song over and over again while drawing on myself which worked to keep my mind off of things for about... I don't know, many hours, but then I finally stop and I just lean my back up against the chair and hug a pillow while I listen to my music. And then of course whenever I'm feeling down I think of things that I shouldn't and I had the sudden urge to get my razor like the pathetic person I am and just cut myself because everything gets better after I cut cause it's not like i hurt anyone. Though I'm still stupid sometimes and I cut anyways, so I tried really hard to stay away from the blade and I went through my old bookshelf instead. I found the bible that was given to my by my step-father and I look at it and open it up to the first page where it says that it's given to him on this one date by these people and I just burry my face in it. I don't know why, but the scent of it just... made me cry. So I cried for five minutes by the time I actually but the book away and I laid down on the floor with my blankets and pillows and whatnot and I listen to the music more with the light on because I couldn't stand the silence. It was the same song over and over... And then I got the lovely idea to go to the cabinet and overdose on pills. Where that idea came from? I have no idea, but it came. And I thought of my mother, and my step-father, and my little brothers that I have and I just burst out crying again. I hugged my pillow for what seemed like half an hour when I finally stopped. I tried to sleep after turning the music off, but then I noticed how wet my pillow was, which made me cry even more! Yeah, so that was bloody fun. I finally got the bright idea to walk out into the living room, dragging a pillow and a small stuffed animal behind me and I walked over and sat by the Christmas Tree on the couch where my cat jumped up and decided to give me affection and make me feel better. After sniffling for an hour I finally fell back asleep and had some stupid dream that was about my best friend ignoring me. Well, she already ignores me since I guess I"m not good enough for her, so I guess it's nothing new. I guess I just feel like my dreams are taunting me lately to break down crying and to just cut.
But I didn't cut last night, and I tried really fricken hard not to, and I'm proud of myself. I don't care what anyone else says, I'm proud of myself. -
Good for you, Bunnie! It's actually better to admit it to people you don't know because their opinions of you ain't worth even 1/5,000 of your attention! I'm glad you didn't cut and that you're able to admit this stuff to others as well as yourself! As for the best friend thing, I deal with that all the time! Don't let them get to you, it's what they want. Keep fighting the urge to cut, Bunnie!! =)
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My thighs are so covered in ink it's not even funny haha
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How did they get covered in ink o.o
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I drew all over them with sharpie instead of cutting ^~^ a mix of butterflies, red lines, and lyrics are all over my thighs.
they're a b---- to wash off though xD -
I know right^
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