Hopefully funny stuff that puts everyone in a good mood
- Locked due to inactivity on Aug 4, '16 4:20pm
Thread Topic: Hopefully funny stuff that puts everyone in a good mood
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Math teacher: I have 5 bottles in one hand, and 5 bottles in the other. What do I have in total?
Student: A drinking problem.
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Hi, welcome to Holister. Would you like a flashlight?
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*Frozen computer* hmm.... Maybe if I spaztatically click everywhere, it'll work.
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I heard she was born naked. That slut!!
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Teacher: If you have 10 chocolate cakes, and someone asks for 2, how many do you have left?
Me: 10.
Teacher: Okay, well what if someone forcibly takes 2 chocolate cakes. What do you have left?
Me: 10 and a dead body.
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My teacher pointed a ruler at me and said "At the end of this ruler, is an idiot". I got in trouble after saying "Which end?". -
I know the chocolate cake one haha :D
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Haha
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Lol. I like the last one.
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Lmao This Made My Day :'D
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I'm glad you guys liked it :). I have more, but I didn't feel like typing that much.
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I saw some of these on Tumblr.
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The last was the only one that made laugh...
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i know all of them
Two boys were talking one day. One said to the other "i know how to get anything you want" the other boy wanted to know "Tell me" he said, the other boy then said "Just say I know your secret" the boy quizkly jumped up and went to his dad in the living room "Dad i know your secret" "Ok, ok son here's $5 just dont tell your mom" he went to to the kitched "Mom i know your secret" "Please dont tell your dad here's $10" the boy thought why not try it on the mailman, he went outside "I know your secret" he said, the mailman dropped his bag and opened his arms "Come to daddy" -
@Ashl3y I got them off of an app called "Funny Pix" or something like that.
@Moyashi Yeah, I kinda figured. That's why I put it last :P. -
@DOA, Cool.
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-At McDonalds-
Customer:
I'll take a hotdog.
Dude At Counter:
We don't have goddamn hotdogs.
-10 Minutes Later-
Customer:
What kind of Five Guys DOSENT have hotdogs?!?!
Dude at Counter:
Sir,THIS IS A MCDONALDS!
Customer:
Oh.......Can I have a Hotdog then?
Dude at Counter;
NO!!!! -
@Mitchy XD.
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@Dark that reminded me of this one joke that I heard when I little:
A women was learning how to sing opera so she sang "Mememememe". Then, she went to McDonalds and ordered her food. The guy behind the counter asked "Would you like forks and knives with that?" and she said "Forks and knives. Forks and knives." Later, she was at home and watching wrestling and one of the people said "Bring it on fat boy." and then there was a febreeze commercial and it said "Plug it in, plug it in." Later that day, a cop came to her house. He said, "Excuse me ma'am, but there was a murder in this area and we were wondering if you knew who did it." She said, "Mememememe." the cop said, "What'd you kill him with?" she said "Forks and knives. Forks and knives." the cop said, "Okay, I'm gonna have to take you downtown." she said, "Bring it on, fat boy." the cop said, "Alright, you might need the electric chair." she said, "Plug it in, plug it in." -
XD
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