You Cant Wake Up
Thread Topic: You Cant Wake Up
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It feels so stupid for me to be wondering what path I’m going on as a junior though when I’ve been thinking about this since middle, I feel like I should have already had this figured out and planned and it feels kinda pathetic
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genuinely I’ve thought of so many careers and what I should study and I know college probably isn’t worth it when you can learn useful skills in a trade school (if it’s even any cheaper) but college feels like the only way you can get a good, stable job you can be happy in
which I know isn’t true at all and people without college education can definitely be successful but people are usually more successful with college, college is just extremely expensive -
I have $1k in savings right now and it’s literally just because I can’t get a job over the school year, I’m only allowed to work over summers😭 definitely a privilege but I wish I could just work so I can save before I’m moved out, I don’t want to be an unemployed bum after graduation💔 and things with my parents are usually unstable so I can’t really imagine myself staying past 6 months, all 3 of my older siblings moved out as soon as they could (my eldest brother moved out on his birthday😭) but I told my mom and suggested I stay for a bit to save to live on my own and help them pay rent when I can work full time and she was open to the idea which I appreciate
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$1k is really bad though if I were to move out right now I’d probably actually be dead dude, I need at least $4k and even then I’m saving for my own car, apartment, bills, college, and even then it’s a requirement for you to make 2-3x the money it takes for apartment rent a month to even rent an apartment at all
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I’m definitely going to get a roommate but a roommate sounds so tiring omllll😭😭😭 I just want to be on my own bruh
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My dream life is literally just living on my own with 2 dachshunds and a stable job and full-focusing on my hobbies and my music production outside of my career, I genuinely don’t want anyone in my life if I can help it unless it’s a friend, but I really don’t want shallow friends. I’m not even good at long term friendships anyway, it’s always unbalanced and I’m either investing and giving too much of myself to try and shape me around the other person and then pulling away when I realize they don’t care as much as I do and I hurt both of us or I just don’t care at all and the other person is putting in too much effort and I feel guilty and it leads to them pulling away and then I try to reach out and things are too late and it’s a headache
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but you know this is what good work is, I want to shape my life around work because I really truly enjoy work and i think it’s kinda the only thing that gives me fulfillment
Well I find fulfillment in myself but just externally
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