update: new job at walmart as a sales associate, making decent hours and decent money
last check was around 600 (which is a lot for my age)
soon enough i'll be able to get another car
also the guy i mentioned going on a date with last page is now my bf and we'll be together for 2 months on the 29th. i love him and he makes me so happy.
i'm also getting baptized on the 30th.
life is going pretty okay right now
1. Why is it so hard for you to express your emotions to others?
i feel both burdensome and distrusting. people have their own stuff to worry about and i don't want to add to it. i also like keeping a few secrets to myself as they make me feel a little more mysterious and powerful.
2. Will you ever stop and realize that other people can help you, that you aren't alone?
i know this, and i know many people who are actively trying to help me, but i think i'm just really independent. also ties in with the being a burden thing.
3. Why do you push yourself so hard and still think you're never enough?
oof. ouch. idk really. i don't even know how to answer that.
update: new job at wendys
going back to counseling. feeling better
applied and accepted to 4 colleges. one of them offered me a $100,000 scholarship. it wasn't even my #1 choice but it's very tempting
not much else