so there was a magic show
- Locked due to inactivity on Aug 4, '16 4:36pm
Thread Topic: so there was a magic show
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I did and I went and me and my friend played around but..
I saw Marco, and I don't know?
I just felt a little, resentment? Because he doesn't notice me anymore. But, just the thought of liking anyone kind of makes me wither in disgust or something of the likes.
But, I don't know?
sigh
all of this is too much
My grades are starting to turn into a balance now, like I was handling one thing and thought it was balance right but another grade went a letter down(it's a B but nO) so now I have to handle both of them to get them equal again. I know, it's complicated, no one cares about my problems, but..
I don't know anymore.
I really don't know why I am existing.
It's not a depressive, strong feeling. It's just a feeling that's repetitive everyime I wake up. It's just.. "Why not just go to sleep and never wake up?"
Because at least in my dreams, everything is more surrealistic and weird and fits my general personality.
It makes no sense. Like I do. It's dysfunctional, as I am. It goes off into detached or distorted parts leaving vague themes and messages, like me. And sometimes, it can be dark and morbid, like me. -
What though? :\ Like why does liking someone make you feel like that?
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I don't know.
I know they probably don't like me, but that's not the main issue.
The issue is that I'm bored with life, it brings nothing because it leaves me empty-handed. Sometimes I didn't I should play tango with life and death and use chance as something to take advantage of. -
Well, you might not always come out empty handed. Maybe it's just not your time yet?
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Maybe I should realize that there's never going to be a time yet?
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Well, I think there will be. You are only 14 after all.
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So I have to wait an debilitated, extended amount of years to finally get what I want?
Might as well kill myself. I've done this for too long and it's over. I can't. I give up. You're not a coward for giving up, you're just avoiding the inevitable. -
When you try to avoid this you can end up missing the person who actually does care for you, well in that sense.
No please don't. -
People don't care for you.
Sometimes, you can't fix sadness. -
How do you know? I care for you. Your friends at school care for you.
I think you can. I also think you are stopping yourself from seeing the bigger picture.
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