Rebecca's OCD thread.
- Locked due to inactivity on Aug 4, '16 4:32pm
Thread Topic: Rebecca's OCD thread.
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A thread in which I post my obsessions and compulsions, and other various things related to my OCD. Just get it all out, ya know.
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ok
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First of all, numbers. Almost all the things I do have to do with numbers.
I can't handle anything that has to do with 3 or 7, but 3 especially. I have 'magical thoughts' associated with those numbers, or 6,12,13,14,15,16, and 17. I never do anything that goes above 24.
I mostly do things in 2, 4, 5 as a safety net for 4, 8, 9 as a safety net for 8, 11, 18, 19, and 22. -
And that leads me to the concept of "Magical Thoughts." These are thought associated with certain actions or other things. For example, if my bag gets checked into the plane, which we try to avoid every time we go flying, I get thoughts associated with the plane crashing.
For example, on our way to Orlando recently, my bag had to get checked at the gate, because the overhead cabins were too small. I immediatly got the magical thought that the bag engine of the plane was gonna malfunction, so the back of the plane would explode, and there would be 3 people dead and 9 people injured. I spent half of the 2 hour plane ride histerically sobbing, because I legitimately thought that the plane was gonna go down, all my things would be gone, and 3 people would die. There were children on the plane. For an hour, because my bag got checked, I thought I would die.
So magical thoughts are fun, but, they're not always that severe. Sometimes it's like "oh if I do this, then there's gonna be an earthquake in Argentina" or something more minor. -
Anyways, that aside, my daily life is filled with routines that I have to do, and if I don't do them, I get extremely uneasy. Or, things just have to be the same and how they were, I highly dislike change. That's why I only change my bedsheets, pillow cases, and blankets when it's absolutely nessecary.
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Oh here's another story. I have to have the same exact mechanical pencil everyday. One day, I lost it. I sat through first period very uneasy, about to break. I had Algebra 2nd period. I had an A in the class and the teacher's fond of me, a very uneasy and visibly shaken me asked him if I could go call my mom. So I went to the corner of the staircase and was finally able to let my emotions out, so I called my mom and talked to her for the whole entire class while I was having a panic attack, all because I didn't have the same pencil I used everyday.
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I also can't write anything I plan to do in the future, or else something will happen. It's not jinxing, exactly, it's just, yea. I wont be able to do the thing anymore. It gets quite annoying. I'm not able to write down new years resolutions or goals because of it.
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I also can't plan a day ahead in my school agenda.
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