I'm so happy, 'cause today, I found my friends,
- Locked due to inactivity on Aug 4, '16 4:31pm
Thread Topic: I'm so happy, 'cause today, I found my friends,
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This Carrie White is cuter.
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I don't think I'm okay anymore.
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I'm not okay. I keep crying over everything, and nothing at all. I can't do anything but go to school, come home, do my homework, and come on to talk. And I think you see that that isn't very much and I'm sorrY. I feel drained, but then again, I hardly get enough sleep to keep me up all day. I don't want to do schoolwork. That sounds normal, but normal doesn't take their geometry homework and rip it into pieces because she can't understand it. I don't want to talk to anyone, and if I do, I'm disinterested and irritated and I have this feeling but don't know what it is. You don't understand how badly I want to hurt myself but I can't because when I even think of trying, I pretty much break down. I cannot not not let my mom know any of this becaue she would send me somwhere right away. It's a bad patch, a really bad patch.
And the insecurities. My god, I can't look at myself without picking out every flaw I see. And then I get upset and want to hide and never go to school. But then I get really panicky that if I miss the classes, I won't ever be able to fix the work I missed or anything. And then I go and spend the whole day wondering if people are looking at me because of my flaws or because of whatever looks okay or good.
I'm scared, a lot, as well, and it's like a "oh my god is there someone in that room why do i feel like someone's watching me" and then I stay in my room for a while because I don't know if there's a person in my house or if I'm being ridiculous again. I was alright for a little while and now I'm sort of falling apart. -
and I don't know why i post this here because maybe only three of you actually care about me, or at least pretend to. i can't tell if you're being nice becase you care or not. but i really feel s---ty with this website, and i feel even worse outside of it
so I'm going to actually leave this time
do myself a favor
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