Funny movie dialogues

  • Locked due to inactivity on Aug 15, '16 3:54am

Thread Topic: Funny movie dialogues

  • avatar
    therealminime Junior
    Tony Stark: So, uhh, who's home?
    Harley Keener: Well, my mom already left for the diner, and dad went to 7-Eleven to get scratchers... I guess he won, 'cause that was six years ago.
    Tony Stark: Hmm... which happens, dads leave, no need to be a p---- about it, here's what I need...
    [pauses]
    Tony Stark: A laptop, a digital watch, a cell phone, the pneumatic actuator from your bazooka over there, a map of town, a big spring, and a tuna fish sandwich.
    Harley Keener: What's in it for me?
    Tony Stark: Salvation. What's his name?
    Harley Keener: Who?
    Tony Stark: The kid that bullies you at school. What's his name?
    Harley Keener: How'd you know that?
    Tony Stark: I got just the thing.
    [Stark ejects a flare canister from one of Mark 42's panels]
    Tony Stark: This is a piata for a cricket. I'm kidding, it's a very powerful weapon. Point it away from your face, press the button on top. It discourages bullying. Non-lethal, just to cover one's ass. Deal. Deal? What'd you say?
    [Stark tries to make Harley grab the canister]
    Harley Keener: Deal.
    [Stark gives Harley the canister]
    Tony Stark: What's your name?
    Harley Keener: Harley. And you're...
    Tony Stark: The mechanic. Tony.
    [pauses]
    Tony Stark: You know what keeps going through my head? Where's my sandwich?



    Iron Man 3
  • avatar
    therealminime Junior
    Brennan Huff:[playing Dale's drums when he isn't allowed to] f--- YOU DALE! f--- YOU!
    Dale Doback:[Comes home] Hey
    Brennan Huff:[sweaty] Hey
    Dale Doback: Why are you so sweaty?
    Brennan Huff: I was watching COPS.
    Dale Doback: You aren't supposed to have your feet on the couch. [Walks upstairs, Brennan takes his feet off the couch, and puts them back up when Dale is upstairs. Dale walks in the drum room, sniffing, and checking the drupositioning, sees his drumstick chipped]
    Dale Doback: Hey man. Did you touch my drumset?
    Brennan Huff: [Brennan nods his head]
    Brennan Huff: Nope.
    Dale Doback: It's just weird, 'cause, it seems like someone definitely touched my drumset.
    Brennan Huff: Yeah, that is weird, 'cause I didn't touch 'em.
    Dale Doback: [Dale throws Brennan's feet off the couch]
    Brennan Huff: Hey!
    Dale Doback: [angrily] Did you touch my drumset?
    Brennan Huff: Hey, knock it off!
    Dale Doback: I know you touched my drumstick, 'cause the left one has a chip in it.
    Brennan Huff: Are you f---ing crazy, man? You sound insane. Do you realize that? You should be medicated.
    Dale Doback: f--- you Brennan! I know you touched my drumset, and I wanna hear that dirty little mouth admit it.
    Brennan Huff: Get out of my face, or I'm gonna roundhouse your ass!
    Dale Doback: You swear on your mom's life that you didn't touch it then!
    Brennan Huff: I don't have to swear to s---!
    Dale Doback: That's 'cause you f---ing touched my drumset! 'Cause I know COPS doesn't start 'till 4:00!
    Brennan Huff: [Brennan begins to leave the room]
    Dale Doback: Where you going?
    Brennan Huff: I'm going upstairs... 'cause I'm gonna put my nutsack, on your drumset! Okay?
    [Brennan continues to walk upstairs towards his drumset]
    Dale Doback: If you do that - I'm warning you, right now! If you touch my drums, I will stab you, in the neck, with a knife!
  • avatar
    therealminime Junior
    Step Brothers
  • avatar
    Hiccstrid Junior
    Edmund: You're welcome.
    Peter: I had it sorted.
    Susan: What was it this time?
    Peter: He bumped me.
    Lucy: So you hit him?
    Peter: No, after he bumped me, they tried to make me apologize. That's when I hit him.
    Susan: Really, is it that hard just to walk away?
    Peter: I shouldn't have to! I mean, don't you ever get tired of being treated like a kid?
    Edmund: We are kids.
    Peter: Well, I wasn't always. It's been a year. How long does he expect us to wait?
    Susan: I think it's time to accept the fact that we live here. It's no use pretending any different.
    ~The Chronicles of Narnia, Prince Caspian
  • avatar
    Hiccstrid Junior
    Hiccup: Of all the irresponsible, insubordinate--
    Tuffnut: Don't forget idiotic, imbecilic, inane--
    Hiccup: *glares*
    Tuffnut: What? I've heard a lot of words for stupid. I mean, come on! People say that more than my proper name.
    ~Dragons Race to the Edge, Season 3 Episode 6, "Gone Gustav Gone"
  • avatar
    Hiccstrid Junior
    Tuffnut: I'm keeping my eye on you, Mister Night Fury! My good eye...
    Hiccup: Wait, are you telling me you have a bad eye?
    Ruffnut: What, are you telling me you have a bad leg? Thought so.
    Hiccup: And...the weirdness continues.

    ~Dragons Race to the Edge, Season 3 Episode 7, "Reign of the Fireworms"

    I AM OBSESSED WITH THESE EPISODES, I'M TELLING YOU!!
  • Animelover9 Novice
    the episodes are good. i watch them on netflix
    bully:lets fight!!
    alex:*face turns red*listen hear!!!i have been chased by gladiators,kiddnapped by an insane dude and chased by a mad sientist!!!and i will not be bullied by a 10th grader!!UNDERSTAND!!!!
    bully:looks like you are tuff
    alex:i am?
    bully:lets go get you a motorcycle
    alex:*blinks and follows bully*
    clover:at least i dont have to ride with you
    sam:WHAT!!!*chases clover down the hall*
    -totally spies season 1 episode 11.,"spy gladiattors"
    I LOVE THE SHOWS
  • avatar
    Hiccstrid Junior
    Tuffnut: All right, Fishlegs. Says here you are now the official poet laureate of Thorstonton.
    Fishlegs: Do you even know what that means?
    Ruffnut: We were hoping you would! It's your job, after all.
    Tuffnut: Astrid, you are the official royal brush-clearer. We don't want Thorstonton burning down, after all.
    Ruffnut: Or do we?
    Tuffnut: Hmm...
    Astrid: I'm not clearing brush for you two! I'm not clearing anything for you two!
    Hiccup: Come on, Astrid.
    Tuffnut: Oh. You'll do it. And you'll like it, little missy. Snotlout, you, my friend, have an excellent job. You, sir, are our new sergeant at arms.
    Snotlout: Mm. I like the sound of that... "arms."
    Tuffnut: Knew you would. All right, Hiccup. Oh, Hiccup, you are our new stable boy. Hiccup: Stable boy?
    Toothless: [growls]
    Astrid: Come on, Hiccup.
    Hiccup: [sighs heavily]
    Snotlout: So, uh, here's a question. What's a sergeant at arms do, anyway?
    Tuffnut: You enforce the rules. If someone doesn't follow them, you make sure they do. And if things get really nasty, you show them to the fancy new dungeon and give them some yak dung tea. Got it?
    Snotlout: Dungeon! I like it. Better than "stable boy."
    Tuffnut: Okay, and speaking of new rules, without further "adieu"...
    Ruffnut: Yeah, no more further "adieus." Anyway, rule number one: everyone must bow to your rulers when they enter the room.
    Tuffnut: Rule number two: everyone must also bow to your rulers when they exit the room.
    Ruffnut: Everyone must bow to your rulers when they are in the room.
    Hiccup: So basically we just bow all the time?
    Tuffnut: Ooh, stable boy, coming in for the big win. That deserve a bow... from you. I'm not doing any bowing.
    Hiccup: Hmph. [bows]
    Tuffnut: Thank you.
    Ruffnut: Next, there will be a small fee for landing your dragons on the island.
    Tuffnut: And another small fee for taking off.
    Ruffnut: There will be a fee for sleeping.
    Tuffnut: A fee for waking up.
    Ruffnut: A fee for eating.
    Tuffnut: And a small fee for drinking.
    Astrid: How about breathing?
    Tuffnut: Good idea! Mark that down.
    Ruffnut: Way ahead of you.
    Tuffnut: And finally, the letter "S" has been officially removed from the alphabet. So you're going to want to avoid words like sword...
    Ruffnut: Severed leg...
    Tuffnut: Severed head...
    Ruffnut: Cyclone!
    Fishlegs: That's actually a "C."
    Tuffnut: Uh-uh! Notlout, quiet him!
    Snotlout: Notlout? Who's Notlout?
    Astrid: Do you two realize that there is an "S" in the name of your island?
    Tuffnut: Ilence, ubject! How dare you ay such thing?

    ~Also from Dragons Race to the Edge, Season 3 Episode 7, "Reign of Fireworms"
  • avatar
    Hiccstrid Junior
    Oreius: Numbers do not win a battle.
    Peter: No, but I bet they help.

    ~The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe
  • avatar
    Hiccstrid Junior
    Astrid: I don't like this, Hiccup.
    Hiccup: We have no choice.
    Tuffnut: You sure we have no choice? Like, none? Zip? Zilch?
    Hiccup: This is all my fault anyway.
    Tuffnut: Nenguno?
    Hiccup: I should have at least given the kid a chance.
    Tuffnut: Ni Portugal?
    Hiccup: Tuff, that's really not helping.
    Tuffnut: Yeah.

    ~Dragons Race to the Edge, Season 3 Episode 6, "Gone Gustav Gone"
  • avatar
    Hiccstrid Junior
    Hermione: Now, if you two don't mind, I'm going to bed before either of you comes up with another clever idea to get us killed, or worse, expelled.
    Ron: She needs to sort out her priorities.

    ~Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone
  • Alison Newbie
    Eric: She won't shoot me anyway

    Tris: People always tend to underestimate me. *Shoots Eric*

    *later on*

    Peter: You won't shoot me.

    Tris: why do people keep saying that? *Shoots Peter*

    ~Divergent ITobiasEaton!
  • avatar
    Hiccstrid Junior
    Draco: Why so tense, Potter? My father and I have a bet, you see. See, I don't think you're going to last ten minutes in this tournament. He disagrees. He doesn't think you'll last five!

    Harry: I don't give a damn what your father thinks, Malfoy! He's vile, and cruel. And you're just pathetic.

    ~Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
  • avatar
    Hiccstrid Junior
    Hermione: Do you see that girl over there?
    Harry: Yeah?
    Hermione: That's Romilda Vane. She's been trying to sneak you a love potion.
    Harry: Really?
    Hermione: Hey! She's only interested in you because she thinks you're the Chosen one!
    Harry: But I am the Chosen one.
    Hermione: *smacks Harry*
    Harry: Okay, sorry...uh...kidding.

    ~Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince
  • avatar
    Hiccstrid Junior
    Ron: It's beautiful, isn't it? The moon.
    Harry: Divine. Had ourselves a little late night snack, did we?
    Ron: It was on your bed, the box, I just thought I'd try one.
    Harry: Or twenty.
    Ron: I can't stop thinking about her, Harry.
    Harry: Honestly, you know, I reckon she was starting to annoy you.
    Ron: She could never annoy me. I think I love her.
    Harry: Oh... brilliant.
    Ron: Do you think she knows I exist?
    Harry: Well, I'd bloody well hope so, she's been snogging you for three months.
    Ron: Snogging? Who are you talking about?
    Harry: Who are you talking about?
    Ron: Romilda, of course. Romilda Vane.
    Harry: Okay, very funny.
    Ron: *throws the chocolates box at Harry*
    Harry: What was that for?
    Ron: It's no joke! I'm in love with her!
    Harry: Alright, fine, you're in love with her! Have you ever actually met her?
    Ron: No... Can you introduce me?

    Also from Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

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