Another Story Rewritten by hp4evr
- Locked due to inactivity on Aug 4, '16 4:25pm
Thread Topic: Another Story Rewritten by hp4evr
The view changed slowly as our car sped by, not giving me a chance to enjoy a scene longer than a few minutes. The soft breeze, which streamed in through the open window, touched my cheeks and played with my dark hair as I tried to breath the fresh air in. The roadside view was refreshing and although at the present, I could only see the trees all along, I didn't mind there presence. Through the half opened window, I glanced above at the Southern sky which was a clear blue with no signs of clouds whatsoever. 'No shower for us then,' I thought with a bit of disappointment.
We had been travelling in the Highway for last three hours and for all I knew, it wasn't till another hours of drive that we reached our destination, California. I wasn't used to long drives and I already felt uncomfortable in the big leathery seat. Also, there were only trees to be seen, and predicting it to be the same for a few more miles, I decided to occupy myself with a more useful occupation: Reading. I reached for my old army green satchel and took out the paperback edition of my favourite book, "To Kill a Mockingbird". The book was mournful and heartfelt, the sort of thing which I could truly appreciate at this moment. I flipped through the pages of the book as I sinked lower into my seat, and read a familiar chapter on which, I noticed, I had also scribbled a few things. A smile smile streched over my lips as I read a few of them, but it changed to a sad one as I noticed the words, "Greenville Elementary School, Texas". "Texas," I slowly whispered and closed the book and my eyes.
I lived in Texas, I grew up there. I would have spent my later years there as well if it wasn't for the fact that my father died a year ago, leaving me and my mother alone in the Texan climes. My mother wouldn't have mind living there for the rest of her widowed years either, but it so happened that my mother had been left a house in California by my grandparents who had also passed away recently. Although my father had left a fair amount of fortune and it would have been sufficient for us but my mother thought it wise to move to California and save the money that we otherwise would give as rent. Thus, we soon found ourselves, only a year after my father's death, packing for California and later this morning, in the Highway. I knew I'd miss Texas. It was what I had called "home" for about eight years of my existence but now . . . it was all going to change.
My mother's humming snapped me out of my internal musings and into the world of reality. She was singing carols, though the Christmas was ages away. She didn't usually sing and disapproved when I tried to utter a note or two, and it occured to me as a strange surprise when I heard her sing. I soon knew why she didn't approve singing. Her singing was pretty below average, and the song sounded like a bird's screech in my delicate ears. If you were an awful singer like my mother, you wouldn't approve singing either but since she was singing, I had to assume one thing; she was pretty much excited about California. "Aw, my Ally Belly," she said happily as she now ruffled my dark, almost black hair with her other hand on the steering. I groaned, feeling annoyed at her touch. "Mum, stop it," I voiced my displeasure but she disregarded and continued humming in her own fashion. She apparently hadn't listened to what I said but I had a nagging suspicion that it was only a pretend. I sighed helplessly. Why didn't my mother realise I hated when someone touched my hair, and that the 'someone' included her as well? "Mum, stop doing that. I'm a grownup now," I said irritably when she still didn't abandon her pastime. "You're only eight, Ally," she said, sparing me a glance from her dark brown irises. "Anyways, I don't understand why you're so easily irritated, Ally. I also notice you look quite gloomy though you shouldn't be. After all, we're going to a much better place than Texas."
I gave her a sulky look. She didn't understand, California would never feel the same way as Texas, even if it was much bigger and better. My heart rested with Texas, it was the place where I experienced eight springs of my life. It was the only place I could ever identify with, not to forget, Texas was the place where my father had his last breath. "Don't worry, Ally. I know you'd soon adjust," she said as if she sensed my inner fears. "And besides, California won't be that bad. Mrs. Cattermole would be there and so would her sons, Daniel and Dale and I'm sure that after spending a few days with them, you might even forget Texas."
I gave her a look which said clearly well that she must be kidding herself. It wasn't only Texas I was leaving behind, there were my friends as well, not that I had much friends. I only had four friends; Caesy, Liz, Amanda and the fourth one?
Well, they were my books and I knew that besides them, I'd have a hard time making new ones.
"Mum," I softly said to my mother who gave a nod, indicating she was listening. "What if nobody welcomed me? "
"That's silly, Ally. I don't see why no one would welcome you. I'm perfectly sure Dale and Daniel would, or at least Daniel," she replied with a good-humoured laugh and her brown eyes now looked at me with small sense of motherly affection.
"Yeah, but what about Dale?"
Instead of answering, she only shook her head and steered through the curved road, leaving me once more to my own thoughts. I should have known; it was useless talking to her. She didn't feel the same way I did but that maybe because California was her hometown, just as Texas was mine. There was one more thing; she had a friend there, Mrs. Cattermole, who also happened to be our neighbour. They knew each other from their childhood and had years long friendship which had not been shattered by the distance. We had visited her before, and I still remembered her sons, Dale and Daniel, the fraternal twins, but were opposite to each other, more than any two people could be.
Dale wasn't friendly with me as his brother was and in fact, in most of my visits to the gramp's house, or as I now should say, 'our' house, he had been quite contrary to friendly. I groaned at the very thought of him. I never understood how anyone could be so annoying and irritating but that was Dale for you.
I didn't realize when I drifted into a slumber and only woke when our car stopped in front of the familiar blocks of houses.
"Ally, we're here," My mother's voice said in my ears and I straightened on the seat, as I stared at the people standing in front of a house.
Mrs. Cattermole was there and so were her sons. I was greeted by a bone crunching hug from Mrs. Cattermole when I stepped out of the car. Next was Daniel, but his hug was a little less bone crunching.
"Welcome home, Ally."
I glanced at Daniel who was smiling at me sheepishly. He was dressed in a black t-shirt and a baseball cap covered his overgrown brown hair. "It's nice to see you, Daniel." He smiled and said, "Ally, want to come inside."
"Sure, but first, let me see the garden first." He nodded and went inside, leaving me alone in the green patch. I smiled to myself, though I didn't know why, and walked towards a flower on which a dewdrop was resting like a sparrow in a bird's nest. I softly touched the flower.
All of a sudden, a spray of water hit me, soaking me all over in water and in rage. Dripping wet, I turned around and met Dale Cattermole. He had a hosepipe in his hand and was smirking at the sight of me.
"Welcome home, Catterpillar."
Just to make sure, this story is only rewritten by me. The idea belongs to someibe else. :)
Wow that's really good but she's very intellectual for an eight year old.
@LuckyFirefly Yeah, she maybe but I remember I read a book a few years back and it was narrated by a six year old and she was more clever than the adults in the book. To clarify, Allyson is narrating this when she's sixteen. :)
Oh, that makes more sense. :) I know I've told you before, but I can they enough of your writing style! I love it! It's AMAZING!!! :D
Oops, that's supposed to sat I can't get enough of you writing style...
@LuckyFirefly Aw thanks! C': I have never written much in my life so it really means a lot but there's one big problem, I can only write the scenes. For me, defining a plot is a difficult thing but I hope I'll learn it with practice. :)
Anyways, thank you so much! :D
Any time. :) If you need any help, just ask! I love creative writing like this, so I'd be willing to help. Not sure if my ideas are good or not, but either way I'm willing to try! :D
@LuckyFirefly I'd be sure to ask you. (:
Thanks! That's really nice! :,D
Ya know, you're pretty awesome. :) Most people use the Internet to make fun of people or whatever but you're just awesome. :)
@LuckyFirefly Thanks. :') I know most of the people usr Internet only for that and Facebook is mainly for that, but it also depends on morals. I just don't likebeing mean whether on Internet or in real life. :)
Sorry for the typos! I'm on my phone. :P
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