Leah Listens...

  • Locked due to inactivity on Aug 4, '16 4:19pm

Thread Topic: Leah Listens...

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    LeahM Experienced
    Your welcome!
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    Okay, so there is this guy in my class and I've liked him since the time I first saw him. We have a growing friendship and we like to tease each other and all. I don't know if he likes me. He recently broke up with his girlfriend. I was jumping for joy! Now I feel guilty because I know I shouldn't be happy because of someone else's loss. Now I don't know what to do. Should I still be flirty and win his heart, or stay back and give him some room?
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    LeahM Experienced
    Well, first off, your relationship seems to be growing healthily. Teasing each other is always a good sign. There's no doubt that he likes you, it's just a matter if he likes you as a girlfriend.

    The recent split from his girlfriend could have been because of his increasing feelings for you, that's a factor. And he may want to pursue a more than friendly relationship with you. Does he suddenly light up in your company? Is he acting any differently since the split? Has he been down? If not, these are good signs, he's not substantially upset about losing his girlfriend knowing that he's got you as a potential one. The one he really wants.

    You should stay the same as you've always been. That is your relationship together; teasing, flirting, that's the way your friendship works. Staying back and giving him room wouldn't change much I think. He's your friend, he'd want his friend there during this time being the way you've always been. Flirt and tease away. Time will tell if you've won his heart.

    Good Luck!
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    LeahM Experienced
    Just to inform you all that despite my advice column is in Dating and Relationships, I'm also willing to help with other forms of dilemmas.
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    Home gurl Novice
    I'm not sure if I'm Bi. I'm just really confused. I'm scared to tell my friends and my family. My mom says she will accept me but I don't trust her. You guys are the first to know. I just need help. I'm not ready to confront everything that will come with this.. v.v
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    xforgetXmex Junior
    um... I'm gonna try to make this short. so I have been dating my bf for close to a year now and well I'm starting to be unhappy in the relationship. I don't want to tell him I want out because every time I try to mention it he threatens to kill himself.I don't want that burden on my shoulders, knowing I could have stopped it. But if I stay with him he continues to control me and I don't like it... he wasn't always like this, I ant the guy I liked before, the non-controlling one.
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    LeahM Experienced
    xforgetXmex,

    You need to talk to him. You need to communicate on a level on which you have not before. Ask him why he always threatens to kill himself, why he has now become controlling. Clear communication seems to not to exist in your relationship. If you want to part on good terms you must be aware of his deepest thoughts and feelings; sympathise with them and consider them.

    Furthermore, these could be the reasons as to why your boyfriend has become this way. Someone who wants to control someone else is often someone with low self-esteem trying to be appear confident and assured by being a domineering person. Threatening to kill himself because of you is very manipulative and unfair, but also could be a cry for help. Dose he have a history of depression? Of frequent and/or violent mood changes?

    A relationship is a commitment. You've been together for a year, and just because he is not showering you with flowers and chocolates doesn't mean you need to get out. As his girlfriend, you must try and support him, sympathise with him. Simple human kindness can go a long way. With your help he could become once again the person he was.

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