Styles Of Loving Questionnaire

In 1976, researcher John Lee conducted extensive interviews with people to discover what the word "love" meant to them. He learned, of course, that love means different things to different people. Lee concluded that humans think of love in six separate ways. He labeled these love forms with Greek nouns.

Hendrick and Hendrick found that men tend to be more ludic, whereas women tend to be storgic and pragmatic. Mania is often the first love style teenagers display. Relationships based on similar love styles were found to last longer. People often look for people with the same love style as themselves for a relationship. Some of the following items refer to a specific love relationship while others refer to general attitudes and beliefs about love. Whenever possible, respond to the items with your current partner in mind. If you do not have a current partner, answer the items with your most recent partner in mind. If you have never been in love, answer in terms of what you think your responses would most likely be in a love relationship. Please rate each item using the following five-point scale: 1 = Strongly disagree 2 = Disagree 3 = Neutral 4 = Agree 5 = Strongly agree.

What is your age?
Under 18 Years Old
18 to 24 Years Old
25 to 30 Years Old
31 to 40 Years Old
41 to 50 Years Old
51 to 60 Years Old
Over 60 Years Old
What is your gender?
Male
Female
My lover and I were attracted to each other immediately after we first met.
1
2
3
4
5
My lover and I have the right physical "Chemistry" between us.
1
2
3
4
5
Our lovemaking is very intense and satisfying.
1
2
3
4
5
I feel that my lover and I were meant for each other.
1
2
3
4
5
My lover and I became emotionally involved rather quickly.
1
2
3
4
5
My lover and I really understand each other.
1
2
3
4
5
My lover fits my ideal standards of physical beauty/handsomeness.
1
2
3
4
5
I try to keep my lover a little uncertain about my commitment to him/her.
1
2
3
4
5
I believe that what my lover doesn't know about me won't hurt him/her.
1
2
3
4
5
I have sometimes had to keep two of my lovers from finding out about each other.
1
2
3
4
5
I can get over love affairs pretty easily and quickly.
1
2
3
4
5
My lover would get upset if s/he knew of some of the things I've done with other people.
1
2
3
4
5
When my lover gets too dependent on me, I want to back off a little.
1
2
3
4
5
I enjoy playing the "Game of love"With a number of different partners.
1
2
3
4
5
It is hard to say exactly where friendship ends and love begins.
1
2
3
4
5
Genuine love first requires caring for a while.
1
2
3
4
5
I expect to always be friends with the one I love.
1
2
3
4
5
The best kind of love grows out of a long friendship.
1
2
3
4
5
Our friendship merged gradually into a love over time.
1
2
3
4
5
Love is really a deep friendship, not a mysterious, mystical emotion.
1
2
3
4
5
My most satisfying love relationships have developed from good friendships.
1
2
3
4
5
I consider what a person is going to become in life before I commit myself to him/her.
1
2
3
4
5
I try to plan my life carefully before choosing a lover.
1
2
3
4
5
It is best to love someone with a similar background.
1
2
3
4
5
A main consideration in choosing a lover is how s/he reflects on my family.
1
2
3
4
5
An important factor in choosing a partner is whether s/he will be a good parent.
1
2
3
4
5
One consideration in choosing a partner is how s/he will reflect on my career.
1
2
3
4
5
Before getting involved with anyone, I try to figure out how compatible his/her hereditary background is with mine in case we ever have children.
1
2
3
4
5
When things aren't right with my lover and me, my stomach gets upset.
1
2
3
4
5
When my love affairs break up, I get so depressed that I have even thought of s*icide.
1
2
3
4
5
Sometimes I get so excited about being in love that I can't even sleep.
1
2
3
4
5
When my lover doesn't pay attention to me I feel sick all over.
1
2
3
4
5
When I am in love I have trouble concentrating on anything else.
1
2
3
4
5
I cannot relax if I suspect that my lover is with someone else.
1
2
3
4
5
If my lover ignores me for a while, I sometimes do stupid things to get his/her attention.
1
2
3
4
5
I try to always help my lover through difficult times.
1
2
3
4
5
I would rather suffer myself than let my lover suffer.
1
2
3
4
5
I cannot be happy unless I place my lover's happiness before my own.
1
2
3
4
5
I am usually willing to sacrifice my own wishes to let my lover achieve his/hers.
1
2
3
4
5
Whatever I own is my lover's to use as s/he chooses?
1
2
3
4
5

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