How Likely Are You to Go Postal?

When Will I Die Test

What office or school doesn't have that person everyoen thinks will come in with a machine gun and destroy us all? The loner, the sadist, the unappreciated genius? The question is- could that be you?

So how likely ARE you to go postal? What's the chance that you'll be the one to wander in armed and ready to kill? Find out in this quiz! (Not a diagnostic tool. I am not a therapist.)

What is your age?
Under 18 Years Old
18 to 24 Years Old
25 to 30 Years Old
31 to 40 Years Old
41 to 50 Years Old
51 to 60 Years Old
Over 60 Years Old
What is your gender?
What sort of employment are you in?
I have a job in customer service, retail, or waitressing
I'm a telemarketer or a door-to-door salesman.
I'm in the military
I have a safe, well-paying job that is respected by the community
I'm still a student, even if I have a part-time job
I don't have a job and I am not in school.
If you are still a full-time student, do you work?
I am not a full-time student.
I have a part-time job, but it's pretty low-stress and just gives me some extra cash.
I have a time-consuming after-school job but I'm not saving for anything important.
I have a time-consuming after-school job and I'm saving for school or some other major expenditure.
I'm a full-time student and I'm supporting myself.
Scenario: You're working in customer service in a clothing store. The same woman comes up to you ten times asking where the petite section is. Each time you direct her and she comes back. The sign is clearly visible from your desk. What do you do?
Grab her shoulders and shake her while calling her a moron.
A strained "Come ON, Ma'am, I'll WALK you OVER."
Take a deep breath, plaster on a fake smile, and lead her over.
Smile, repress all desires to strangle her, and instruct her again.
Sigh, rub your temples, and tell her that there is no petite section, she'll have to look elsewhere.
Say, "I'm sorry, ma'am, I wasn't being clear enough. Perhaps Betty here can help."
Are you married?
I'm happily married.
I'm married, but it's a little strained.
I'm separated.
I'm divorced. It was messy.
I'm divorced, but we're still civil.
I'm not married.
If you are unmarried, are you in a relationship?
Not right now, but I do date.
yes, I'm in a happy and commited relationship.
I'm in a relationship but it's strained.
We just broke up.
Me get a date? That's a laugh!
I'm married.
Do you like your job?
God, no. I'm miserable. but I can't/won't get another one.
No, but I'm looking for a new one.
Well enough, I guess.
Yes, it's great!
I don't work.
How many friends do you have?
I keep to myself.
I have friendly co-workers/classmates, but not much else.
I have friendly co-workers/classmates and a supportive significant other, but not much else
I have a group of friends, but I'm not really clsoe to any of them.
I have a few close friends and a wider group of friends that I'm less close to.
I have a wide group of close friends.
Do you own a weapon?
Yes, a few, including guns.
One or two, including guns.
Yes, but no guns.
No, but I have access to one.
Do you like yourself?
Ugh, no.
Not really.
I'm okay, I guess.
Yes, I do.
I'm way better than any of the schmucks I know!
Do you have a mental disorder?
Yes, but I've been in therapy for more than a year an/or am on medication that I take religiously
Yes, I'm depressed, and I either haven't been in treatment very long or at all, or I dont' take my medication.
Yes, I have another, more severe mental conditon and I either haven't been in treatment very long or at all, or I dont' take my medication.
If I do, it's undiagnosed. And I think I do.
Scenario: A person you really care about and depend on stands you up for an important event. You're very hurt. What do you do?
Silent treatment. You're pissed as all hell, but they'd better figure it out for themselves, because you sure don't want to talk to them.
You pretend it never happened. It's more important to keep them close than to share how you feel.
You angrily confront them and hit them. You should express your anger.
You talk to them a little, let them know you're upset, then let it drop even if you're not sure that you're over it.
You talk it over and make sure you feel better about ti before moving on.
You push it aside. They have more important things to do than concern themselves with your feelings.
Are you religious?
I'm a very devout follower. I attend services regularily.
I follow the tenets of my faith but I don't tend to go to services.
I guess I follow a religion, but I don't think about it much.
God will smite you for thinking otherwise, demon-worshipper!
I don't think about faith much.
I'm definitely an atheist.
Do you have a strict moral code?
Yes, it was taught to me by my parents/authority figures.
Yes, but I've adjusted it since childhood to encompass my ideas.
Morality is flexible.
No, I don't really care anymore.
Do you believe in the death penalty?
Yes, but only for those who commited crimes so heinous that it is the only way to punish them.
Yes, but only if the person is so depraved they can never be rehabilitated.
Yes. It should be used more liberally.
Have you ever had suicidal thoughts?
All the time.
Not recently, but in the past.
What about homicidal thoughts? Had any of those?
I want to kill people ALL the TIME.
I fantasize about murder, but I dont' think I'd ever do it.
No way.
No, although I think about inflicting pain on others sometimes.
How intelligent do you think you are compared to the average?
Mentally retarded
Below average.
Above average
Compared to most of these losers, I'm GOD.
Do you believe people who are mentally or physically inferior should not be allowed to have children?
Well, yes, but they shouldn't be KILLED for it.
Probably not, but we can't do anything to stop them.
Of course not. There should be a way to prevent the stupidity from spreading.
Society needs all kinds of people. They're people too.
Hell, no! Ever heard of equal rights?
Do you consider people of other religions, races, sexual orientations or ethnicities to be inferior?
Only the really weird ones, like Scientologists.
Only the ones I consider morally objectionable, like pagans and homosexuals.
Yeah, some of them.
No. We're all equals.
Nah, they're inferior for different reasons.
Do you regularily discuss your problems and emotions with a therapist, a cleric, a close friend or a significant other?
Do you have a criminal record?
Just little stuff, like traffic tickets.
Nothing in the past couple of years.
Yes, I've been arrested for minor crimes.
I've been arrested for serious crimes.
I've spent time in jail for serious crimes.
Were you ever emotionally or physically abused as a child by an authority figure?
Were you ever emotionally or physically abused by a peer as a child?
Did you consider your high school or middle school years to be traumatic?
God, yes.
Somewhat more than normal.
Within the norm.
Not really.
Do you fear death?
Not really, when the time comes.
I can't wait for it.
Do you fear jail?
Not really. I'd survive.
I'll just kill myself first.
Do/did you get rejected a lot by people of the opposite gender?
Oh, yes.
Not really.
I never gave them the chance.
Do you currently have any plans to kill large amounts of people in a public place?
Er, no.

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