Better out than in.
- Locked due to inactivity on Sep 12, '23 3:54am
Thread Topic: Better out than in.
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I don't know what I can even do.. It's been a month of this nightmare, and I feel just as worthless, broken and lost when I left the hospital that night.. It's up slightly, then when I'm alone in the middle of the night, my thoughts run rampant, shutting down all happiness I experienced that day...
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All I do is bother people, even in moments of grief..
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I'm not worthy of anything...
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First time leaving the house.. I felt weak, exhausted, panicky.. I almost thought I was having a panic attack.. I'm not okay..
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I know what must be done...
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First time doing that... Not going to lie, scared the hell out of me...
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Also, even with the fracture and healed foot, I'm still quick on my toes.. Nice.. Must've been the miles of walking I've done the last two years..
Personal entry: I miss you.. Everyone misses you.. You were the glue that held us together.. I just hope you're in a better place with grandma and Leah..
Last night, I heard a voice... Maybe it's PTSD, but it sounded like the Goof.... -
Today just seems miserable.. The sky is grey, the weather is meh, and I feel fearful.. The f--- is wrong with me?..
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Yeesh.. 400 bucks in groceries... That was an experience that I wish to never redo..
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There’s an alternative called shoplifting/j
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I fear today may just be depressing...
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I feel like if I try to help, I only make things worse.. Seems you're right... I do overextend...
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Me: *Does whatever I can to help. Opens heart.*
Them: Okay.
I feel so discouraged... -
It has been three months since that hellish day.. The one where I lost my guidance and my home due to the detriment of a terrible person who took advantage of her trust and care for twelve years.. In all those years, you never changed.. You just took and took and took until she died that night.. And where did you go?.. You LEFT. YOU NEVER BOTHERED TO EVEN STAY AND ENSURE SHE WAS OKAY. AND THAT SOLIDIFIED IN MY OWN THOUGHTS THAT YOU WERE NOTHING MORE THAN A PARASITE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF IT'S VICTIM. ALL THE YEARS OF FIGHTING, YELLING, AND SCREAMING.
I hope that whatever fate awaits you is painful, and gruesome. Because you deserve it.
Today is going to be awful.. I just know it.... -
I tried.. So very hard to not break down yesterday, but I failed.. Like I always do..
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