Whoevers on wanna read this skit script and gimme some
- Locked due to inactivity on Mar 11, '17 3:54am
Thread Topic: Whoevers on wanna read this skit script and gimme some
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Based on the death of Julia's Caesar. Except with a Dark Knight esque spin off
Roles:
Julius Caesar- Jimmy
Cassius (one of the lead assassins)- Ricky
Brutus (the other lead assassin)- Matt
Junia- (Brutuss half sister)- Rhiannon
Narrarators: Everyone
Props:
Fake sword (wielded by Cassius to kill Caesar)
Joker playing card
Duct tape
String
Chair
Script:
Scene One
*scene starts out with Junia and Brutus sitting in a room, talking quietly*
Portia: Vae! Caesars instagram and twitter followers havent decreased in the slightest, even after I spread that nasty rumor of him sleeping with his sister in law and only bathing every two years!
Brutus: *rolling his eyes* Not sure if it counts as a rumor if its the truth, Portia.
Portia: Whatever, brother.
Brutus: Were going to have to find a new way to decrease his power..both social and political.
Portia: I could claim that my son is his and that we had an affair.
*Cassius strolls in, laughing*
Cassius: And I thought my jokes were bad.
Portia: *rolling her eyes, unamused* Do you have a point in being here? I oughta just slit your throat for trying to come near me. *she stands, glaring at Cassius and walking towards him*
Brutus: Sit. I want to here the proposition.
*Portia sits*
Cassius: *sits across from Portia and Brutus, sitting forward* Its simple. We uh..kill the Caesar.
Portia: If its so simple why havent you done it already?
Cassius: If youre good at something never do it for free.
Brutus: How much do you want?
Cassius: Uh..half.
Brutus: Youre crazy.
Cassius: Im not. No Im not. Why dont you call me when youre ready to discuss like big kids? Heres my card. *hands a joker playing card*
Scene Two
*Julius and Cassius are in a room together*
Julius: You wanted me. Here I am.
Cassius: Those senate fools..They want things to be back to the way they are. I know the truth, though. Youve changed things forever.
Julius: Why do you want to kill me, then?
Cassius: Kill you? I dont want to kill you! What would I do without you? No you- you complete me!
Julius: Youre garbage (ME AFFF) who plots against people for money.
Cassius: Dont talk like youre one of the good guys, youre not. Youre a freak like me. Rome just needs you right now. But as soon as they dont theyll cast you out. Like a leper.
Julius: *grabs Cassius by the collar and throws him to the side (sassy holy s--- me)*
Scene Three: nugget p--- what's the most random subject you can think of go also the stupidest
Arguing about penguins
*once again, Portia and Brutus are sitting in a room together*
Portia: Well, I mean. Penguins have the right to fly! I don't understand why everyone has to put limitations on them.
Brutus: Portia, no offense, you're a lacking toad when it comes to penguins. You don't know the first thing about them. They can fly but they choose not to because they're Buddhists.
Portia: No, I swear. They can fly I've seen them fly.
Brutus: Portia, we live in Italy. How many drugs have you taken in the past month?
Portia: So many but that's not the point. Penguins are-
*Cassius walks in*
Portia: Look, isn't it the slime faced freak who wants to take my money.
Cassius:*ignoring Portia* Well, isn't it Brutus! The most handsome man I know. Considered my offer?
Portia: *walks up to Cassius and slaps him* How dare you come in here and steal our money! *walks away*
Cassius: *trips Portia on her way out.*
Brutus: *smirks, talks once Portia leaves* I believe you have tours off a deal, my good friend.
Cassius: *smiles* Glad to see at least one of you has some common sense. Beautiful. Let's say the senate floor on the ides of march?
Brutus: Woah, whoa woah! Why somewhere so public? We can't have witnesses are you crazy?
Cassius: Im not crazy. Why so serious, Brutus? Trust papa Cas to figure things out. I'm very well connected, you know. *winks*
Scene Four
*on the Ides of March, Portia and Brutus enter the floor together. They find the entire floor is evacuated, with no one there. The floor is dimly lit and Caesar is tied up in a chair, with ductape on his mouth*
Caesar: *trying to scream for help*
Cassius: *emerges from the darkness, licking his lips* You like my little set up? I tried to make our friend here..as comfortable as possible.
Portia: This is madness, Cassius! I can't believe I'm paying you for this!
Cassius: That's where you're wrong, honey bunches of oats. You're a woman. You mean nothing to me or anyone else. In fact, if I were to kill you right now..*he puts the knife to her neck* No one would miss you.
Portia: Do it, you crazy freak.
Cassius: *pressures the knife into her skin* You're nothing-
Brutus: Cassius.
Cassius: *turning around* Oh, yes! The main event. How selfish of me to not allow our guest to speak. *rips off duct tape*
Julius: You'll never get away with this.
Cassius: Sure I will. Who says I won't?
Julius: The leader of your country, loved by many-
Cassius: Alright enough chit chat. Let's play a game. Heads you live, tails you die. Let's start with Portia.
Portia: *eyes widen* You're insane.
Cassius: I'm actually not, my mom had me tested. Anyways, let's commence! *flips a coin, lands on heads* You're a lucky girl. *flips the coin again, it lands on tails.* But he's not.
Portia: W-who?
Cassius: Him, you pig brained meretrix. *points to Julius, smiling* Any last words?
Julius: You either die a hero or-
Cassius: Yeah,yeah. Live long enough to see yourself become the villain. That's not even your line. *stabs Julius 27 times, in a hurl of viscous laughter.* -
s--- lmao ignore the random parts that have nothing to do with it my friend and I were having a convo on the document
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Still have no idea how to film this s---. My dumb--- didn't make sure that we had a cameraman/woman/person
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I wrote Portia instead of Junia how
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