Let me try something weird and imperitovr
- Locked due to inactivity on Aug 4, '16 4:34pm
Thread Topic: Let me try something weird and imperitovr
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Let me try something weird and imperative again*
I don't care who, but if someone could come in for a minute and give me and sort of support then that would be great.... I am past the verge of tears and i have tried everything.... I can't find anything that helps with the pain.... someone please help me... -
What's the problem?
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You need some penis bud?
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Well, this is a lame answer, but life is the matter. I do not have the strength to elaborate life, nor would I know where to start if it was necessary that I elaborated. All I know is that just about everything about my life is screwed up beyond physical fixing and I don't really know if I can will myself to take another breathe. Actually, now that I am able to start addressing all of this I think I can elaborate what is the matter with life.
Physical problems include the facts that my parents medical state is imperative and it is creating fear in me to the point where I will just about have a panic attack if I so much as hear that someone I care about us in any sort of discomfort. And many of my relatives are also in the hospital and I haven't heard word from them in weeks and it is wrecking me. This might qualify as a an mental issue, but my physical appearance is tormenting me to the point where I put up sheet over all my mirrors, refuse to look at my reflection, and if I see my reflection I beat myself up about it all day long and cut and bawl my eyes out. My own health is also at an imperative state too, I have just about every illness know to man... you name it and odds are I either have it, or have strong genetic coding for it; I can hardly sleep anymore... I am convinced that I have sleep apnea but my parent don't believe it, I haven't gotten more than four hours of rest a night in almost three weeks, and my constant fatigue (which my patents went overboard to try to fix, even though though they missed the issue) is just making it even harder and scrambling me physically, mentally, and emotionally like an egg.
I have to currently fight the hardest spiritual battle I have ever had to experience and the resources of it (Which I will not elaborate ) have left me confused and scared and unable to move and fight.
I just want to give up on all this, in fact, I have tried to before. If I had the choice I would end it all right now just to end my misery.
One of the worst parts about all this is that I have no privacy. I keep trying to hedge some distance beet ween me and my family so I can work through all this without dragging them in or conflicting their wellbeing but they keep prying and putting me in situations where I can't be secretive from then so I resorted to putting on a mask and lying to them twenty four seven just to keep all my pain hidden. I just want some space....
There are a million other smaller things... but the fall under the drama category so I won't elaborate... actually, all of this is probably drama.
*sigh* -
Life can be tough and rough at times. Just try to keep strong and move forward, things may get better by the end. Just try your best that you can to get things better. Also, try to find positives in all of this instead of the negatives, I'm not sure. I know this is pretty basic help and whatnot. Sorry, I dont know anything else to say.
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I don't know.... all I have is the utopian part of my mind that lets me escape from reality and into whatever fantasy I wish. I think I will go there now... there is a plane ride I can't miss...
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