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- Locked due to inactivity on Aug 4, '16 4:33pm
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Tyler calls me beautiful, he calls you perfect. There's a big difference. No one is perfect, but I guess in his eyes, you are. With me, I'm just beautiful. Not even that. My outside might "perfect" but on the inside, it's ugly. Just as my outside. I don't know who I am anymore, and Tyler starting letting me know. God I made this about me again.
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I understand... its okay, Jozy. Just do what you honestly feel is right. If you need him, you need him. Is he the one who lets you fall? No. He picks you up when you are down. You are perfect in every way. Everyone is perfect.... You, me, Tyler, even our "Enimies" are perfect in their own unique ways. I know i stood in the way... Tyler loved YOU first. Heres a poem...
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Noone is perfect, it's just a word to say,
but everyones perfect in their own unique way.
Your broken.
Your shattered.
The worlds falling apart.
But Jozy, i know Tyler will surely fix your heart.
Love is something made for everyone,
but being confused is not any fun.
I been in your spot.
I know you love Ty a whole lot.
Follow your heart and follow your dreams...
Hush now, there is no need to scream.
Follow your heart. And follow your dream. -
I know. Just, Tyler. I miss him, I love him. we live an hour away from each other, but he still feels so far, so....distant. I've written this poem. I've written quite a lot about wanting to die. Just ending my fight, I might die like a hero, or a helpless person to only get the feeling of pity when you look at me:
Her face is puffy and red, while painful tears stream down her sad face.
She cries out loudly, hoping someone will hear her silent screams.
So many voices going through her head,
telling her how better she would feel if she were dead.
She places her shaking hands over her ears, trying not to listen.
She yells out once again for help, yet no one comes to her rescue.
She then remains sitting there on her cold bathroom floor, while the clock ticks by.
Her body begins to shake uncontrollably, unable to stop it all.
Starting to realize that no one cares, feeling so alone and helpless.
She finally comes to the decision that there is only one thing left to do.
She brings her shaking hands together, closes her eyes and prays.
She speaks to god one last time and tells him this:
"Lord, I'm so tired and the pain inside doesn't want to go away.
I can no longer shed anymore tears, for my eyes hurt me really bad.
The voices in my head don't want to go away.
My heart aches so bad that it's become too unbearable for me.
No one loves me, no one cares, no one wants me, and no one can help me now.
I tried being the good girl everyone wanted, but it wasn't good enough.
All I wanted was for someone to love me God.
Was I asking too much?
I'm so sorry God but I have to end my suffering the only way I know how.
Please forgive me God for what I'm about to do."
She opens her eyes for the last time, and quickly grabs for the razor blade.
She forces the sharp blade against her wrist.
She starts slitting her veins, deeper and deeper into her flesh.
The dark blood pours out more and more onto the floor all over.
Feeling weaker and weaker, becoming more and more unconscious by the seconds,
the blade drops from her hand onto that cold floor, her final resting place.
Her cold body now collapses to the floor and she slowly begins to feel the pain fade away along with her soul, finally falling into an endless sleep.
She lays there dead, yet free of pain.
It is now quiet, no screams, no tears, no suffering, just utter silence. -
Hi
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JOZY you know why I don't call you perfect because your more then that words can't express you I can't even explain how much I love you but I can say your the only breakup I can't get over I can't belive I desrespect you like that I'm to my point when I read that u was breaking up with me I was just..... Bad but all I want is you to be happy if you breaking up with me makes you happy the. So be it I'm seriously to the point I have to go now because I'm in the hospital bye.....
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I don't know if you were looking at me or not
You probably smile like that all the time
And I don't mean to bother you but
I couldn't just walk by
And not say hi
And I know your name
'Cause everybody in here knows your name
And you're not looking for anything right now
So I don't wanna come on strong
But don't get me wrong
Your eyes are so intimidating
My heart is pounding but
It's just a conversation
No girl I'm not wasted
You don't know me
I don't know you but I want to
I don't wanna steal your freedom
I don't wanna change your mind
I don't have to make you love me
I just wanna take your time
I don't wanna wreck your Friday
I ain't gonna waste my lines
I don't have to take your heart
I just wanna take your time
And I know it starts with hello
And the next thing you know you're trying to be nice
And some guys getting too close
Trying to pick you up
Trying to get you drunk
And I'm sure one of your friends is about to come over here
'Cause she's supposed to save you from random guys
That talk too much and wanna stay too long
It's the same old song and dance but I think you know it well
You could've rolled your eyes
Told me to go to hell
Could've walked away
But you're still here
And I'm still here
Come on let's see where it goes
I don't wanna steal your freedom
I don't wanna change your mind
I don't have to make you love me
I just wanna take your time
I don't have to meet your mother
We don't have to cross that line
I don't wanna steal your covers
I just wanna take your time
I don't wanna go home with you
I just wanna be alone with you
I don't wanna steal your freedom
I don't wanna change your mind
I don't have to make you love me
I just wanna take your time
I don't wanna blow your phone up
I just wanna blow your mind
I don't have to take your heart
I just wanna take your time
No, I ain't gotta call you baby
And I ain't gotta call you mine
I don't have to take your heart
I just wanna take your time -
Tyler, I didn't break up with you. I never did, I never typed those words, I wouldn't dare to ever do that. You have to believe me, I couldn't possibly manage to hurt you. I don't want to, and I'm sorry if I did. I'm confused, and scared to get hurt again. I love you, and I always will. My love for you will not be severed for something you said. That couldn't be possible. I could tell you how many times, I thought about you, or how much I care. But I cannot put that into words. I love you Tyler. And I didn't break up with you. I'm terrified, I am, but at times, you need to take a risk. You cannot stay safe forever, and in times there needs to be a risk taken, or you'll live you live be hidden in the shadows. And I cannot stand it anymore, living in the shadows, I love you. And I will scream it off the Effile Tower if I need to. I love you Tyler, no, not even that. Those words describe barely enough for how I care. I did not break up with you, and I will never break up with you. Yes there will be bumps in this relationship, God only knows how many we will face. No relationship is perfect, but we need to stick together. And I don't want someone who is perfect, I love the flaws, that makes YOU. No one else, that makes you Tyler. I love how adorable you are, and how I am so comfortable around you. I love how so sincere you are. I love how you've been through things that turned you into this wonderful human being. I love how you haven't had an easy life, and you didn't meager through life, how you didn't get handed everything. I love it, I love everything about you. I love you Tyler.
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Ima be straight up I cried JOZY I love u so much nothing can explain it
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To be honest, I was in tears by the time I posted this Ty-Ty. I love you. And I will always love you.
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I wish u would come bk
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I've been trying Ty-Ty, I really have. But everytime I get on here, I've just missed you. And when I get off, you get on. I don't know Ty-Ty, I just love you. But at times, love makes a liar out of us.
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*hugs * I love you
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I love you Ty-Ty. And I will always love you. I know I've said that many times, but I have so many words to describe my needing of your support, and how much I care----no not even that, it goes beyond caring, and beyond saying "I love you." Ty-Ty, my love for you is strong, and it will never fade, as long as I have you.
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*kisses deeply and puts aginst wall * I've wanted to do that forever hehe
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*Wraps arms around neck, running my fingers through your hair, pushes neck down and the kisses deepen* Hehe, *Kiss*
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