I'm gonna sound like such a b---- for a second.
- Locked due to inactivity on Aug 4, '16 4:32pm
Thread Topic: I'm gonna sound like such a b---- for a second.
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Reeve Cipher Newbieas if I don't sound like a b---- every other time I open my mouth
Basically, I live good moment to good moment. I try to find something to be excited about for the day and that's what gets me through the rest of it. It's usually not much because Castiel forbid anything significantly good should happen to me, but it's enough.
"We're having a study hall in this class and I can spend the whole time listening to my music."
"We're going out for dinner tonight."
"I don't have anything to do tonight so I won't have to feel stressed."
"I can listen to my music tonight."
Just stupid s--- like that. If too much time falls in between these little events, I start feeling worse.
Today is a late start in my school. We're not allowed on the premises until an hour after school would normally have started, and classes don't start until half an hour after that. Most kids get to sleep in on these days, but my mother is selfish as f--- and instead elects to make us get up at the same time as usual, get ready, go sit at a Burger King for about forty-five minutes, walk to a bus stop from there, get on the bus and go to school from there. While we're on the bus, I can listen to my music at full volume and no one tries to talk to me or distracts me. I also like the feeling of being in a moving vehicle. It's perfect.
My things for today were as follows:
1. get iced coffee at Burger King
2. listen to my music on the bus
3. not have anything too time-consuming to do tonight so I can listen to music in the dark in a quiet room
Upon waking up, the first thing to be noted is that my mother is cooking a really big dinner, undoubtedly to impress her boyfriend. I'm fully aware that when she cooks big things, everyone seems to see it as an excuse to make the biggest mess they possibly can. s--- gets spilled all over the place. Disgusting crumpled up napkins left on countertops and the table. Dishes all over the house, and the only dishes in the sink not having been rinsed out and thus having food dried and caked onto them. People generally being pigs and not cleaning up a thing. I'll have to clean it up tonight. I'll have to wait until it's late, when all of the f---ing swine are done coming in for seconds and picking at the food. I guess I can't listen to my music tonight.
It's alright. I can still go to Burger King and listen to my music on the bus.
What? No? Oh, how nice. My brother will be taking us to school at the appropriate time. Now I'm awake after four hours of sleep for nothing. Now I'm sitting around after a stressful weekend of being trapped in the Castiel forsaken house with a stupid f---ing baby simulator doll that has kept me up every night since Friday with all of my good points for the day gone. I'm either going to cry or scream. We'll see which comes first. I know this sounds ridiculous, but I need these stupid little things. How am I supposed to get through today now? There's nothing to be happy about. -
Jee that really is terrible I am sorry
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Reeve Cipher NewbieThank you.
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Reeve Cipher Newbiemy head hurts wow
someone kill me I'm done
I don't want to do this -
No, please. I know today isn't going to be as decent but still. It'll pass, I'm sorry you have to deal with this. I would be angry and upset as well.
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Reeve Cipher NewbieThat's it, though, I hate that. I don't want it to just pass. All of my days are just passing. What kind of life am I living where I'm literally just waiting for every day to end?
Thank you for caring, though. I really appreciate it. -
Reeve Cipher NewbieI want to go eat but I don't want to be in the same room as my mother and her boyfriend lest she accuse me of looking for attention.
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I see your point. But it can't be like that forever. It'll change eventually.
Grab something quick to eat and go to your room. -
Reeve Cipher NewbieI'm honestly losing hope that it will. But, again, thank you.
I got food but came under fire for buying my own milk. -
I wish I could actually help you, I'm sorry I can't.
They got mad because of that? -
Reeve Cipher NewbieIt's alright. I'm really grateful for you caring.
My mother doesn't like that I don't drink skim milk because I'm fat. -
Reeve Cipher NewbieI need to go to school now. Thank you, Rosio. I love you.
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