Hipster joke, anyone?
- Locked due to inactivity on Aug 4, '16 4:24pm
Thread Topic: Hipster joke, anyone?
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Q: What do you call a hipster with a speech impediment?
A: Mumblr. -
Not that funny but I like it. :)
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._. You obviously aren't ironic, then.
Why did the hipster burn his tongue? He drank his latte before it was cool. -
I'm not? D:
That one was funny. :P -
Maybe.
Where do you drown a hipster? In the Mainstream. -
I'll take it. :D
Nice. :P -
RANDOM STONER JOKE. A stoner stumbles out of a party, and starts to walk home. One the way he bumps into a guy who is all bloody and mangled. The guy limps up to the stoner and says "Call me an ambulance!" The stoner looks at him for a second, smiles and says, "You're an ambulance!"
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XD
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ANOTHER ONE.
Two stoners are walking down a railroad track stoned. One stoner says "This is a really long f---ing staircase!" The other stoner says "I don't mind the stairs, it's this low f---ing handrail thats killing me." -
XD Wow.
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Blonde joke
How do you get a blonde to get on the roof? Tell her the drinks are one the house. -
XD
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A redhead tells her blonde sister "I slept with a brazillian."
The blonde replies, "Oh my god, you slut! How many is a brazillian?!" -
XD I like that one.
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Oh I got it. Dirtyish joke.
Joe was a successful lawyer, but as he got older he was increasingly hampered by incredible headaches. When his career and love life started to suffer, he sought medical help. After being referred from one specialist to another, he finally came across an old country doctor who solved the problem.
"The good news is I can cure your headaches... the bad news is that it will require castration." You have a very rare condition which causes your testicles to press up against the base of your spine and the pressure creates one hell of a headache. The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove the testicles."
Joe was shocked and depressed. He woundered if he had anything to live for. He couldnt concentrate long enough to answer, but decided he had no choice but to go under the knife. When he left the hospital he was without a headache for the first time in 20 years, but he felt like he was missing an important part of himself.
As he walked down the street, he realized that he felt like a different person. He could make a new beginning and live a new life. He saw a mens clothing store and thought, "thats what I need .. a new suit."
He entered the shop and told the salesman, "Id like a new suit." The elderly tailor eyed him briefly and said, "Lets see... size 42 long." Joe laughed, "Thats right, how did you know?" "Been in business 60 years!" Joe tried on the suit. It fit perfectly. As Joe admired himself in the mirror, the salesman asked, "how about a new shirt?" Joe thought for a moment and then said "sure..." The salesman eyed Joe and said "lets see...34 sleeves and...16 and a half neck." Joe was suprised, "thats right, how did you know?" "Been in the business 60 years" Joe tried one the shirt, and it fit perfectly. As Joe adjusted the collar in the mirror, the salesman asked "how about some new shoes?" Joe was on a roll and said "sure!"
The salesman eyed Joes feet and said "Lets see... 10-1/2...E." Joe said astonished, "thats right, how did you know?" "Been in business 60 years!" Joe tried on the shoes and they fit perfectly. Joe walked comfortably around the shop and the salesman asked "how about some new underwear?" Joe thought for a second and said, "sure!" The salesman stepped back, eyed Joes waist and said "Lets see... size 36."
Joe laughed, "Ah ha! I got you Ive worn a size 34 since I was 18 years old." "The salesman shook his head, "you cant wear a size 34, it will press your testicles up against the base of your spine and give you one hell of a headache."
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