The Archers alter ego quiz

'The Archers', an everyday story of country folk, is the world's longest running Soap Opera. It is broadcast on the BBC's Radio 4 and available online.

Would you turn the village shop into flats? Was Deck the Halls a winter wonderland or exploitation by the toffs? The Archers alter ego quiz is your opportunity to learn which character best represents your outlook on life.

Created by: Nelson_G
1. What is your age?
Under 18 Years Old
18 to 24 Years Old
25 to 30 Years Old
31 to 40 Years Old
41 to 50 Years Old
51 to 60 Years Old
Over 60 Years Old
2. What is your gender?
Male
Female
3. Sid says, "Now then, what can I get you" you say?
Pint of Shires please Sid
G&T darling
White wine please
The usual
Is the water local?
Laphroaig, no ice, thanks
4. With a crash of the register you receive your drinks and?
Sit in the public bar
Take them through to the "Ploughmans"
Sit at the bar
Take them through to the restaurant
Sit in the garden bothering Eccles
Hand them to a patron and wipe some tables
5. Having glanced through Freda's menu, you say?
s that Borsetshire blue in the ploughman's?
The moules for me
Steak and kidney please Sid
Brie and salad baguette please
The Spotted Dick sounds rather jolly
Lamb tagine? I don't know, sounds a bit foreign to me.
6. Age catches up with all of us. Are you
Growing a beer belly
Aging gracefully
Still foxy
Old enough to know better
Starting to feel it
Too young to worry yet
7. You return home from the Bull. Do you
Drive a car
Ride a bicycle
Panic whenever Bartleby raises his tail
Ask if we're nearly there yet
Walk
Have to be carried
8. On the way home you spot the hunt, do you
Tell them to get off your land
Wonder why you forgot the meet was today
Sniff loudly
Phone the local saboteurs
Criticise Sabrina's seat
Admire Sabrina's seat
9. Someone mentions the village shop, do you
Laugh and check that Jason is free
Express concern at its predicament
have an over inflated sense of your own importance
volunteer to help in the shop
Sit on a committee
Have problems of your own
10. that evening for dinner, do you
Cadge dinner at Shula's
Have three helpings
Make a shepherds pie
Wait to be served
Eat out
casually serve up your usual Cordon Bleu standard
11. Annette has confided in you, do you
Keep it to yourself
Tell your spouse
Broadcast to the nation
Wish you'd known how easy she was
Regret her decision
Support her decision
12. Vicky knocks on the door, do you
Greet her warmly
Greet her reluctantly
Pretend to be out
Think it'll be more fun than watching the telly
Have no idea who she is
Shoot yourself
13. You visit your spouse in Borcetshire goal, do you
Ask if he's got your old cell
Think, 'there but for the grace of God'
Sniff loudly
Bring cigarettes
Talk quietly and put a brave face on it
ask loudly if his cell is comfy and when supper is served
14. You mention the graffiti on the bus shelter, do you
Suggest the perpetrators should be locked up
Set up a neighbourhood watch
Point out that there is nothing for the youth to do in the village
Assume it was an archer
Know the truth about those thermal vests
Shake your head and bemoan the standard of English
15. Its holiday time, do you
Staycation
Relax on the beach
Visit local museums
Learn a new craft skill
Prepare a full itinerary
Wish you had the time and money
16. The cricket season has started, do you
Enjoy making the teas and having a natter
Sit in the sun and drink pimms
Think they should make their own damn teas
Have better things to do
Enter the single wicket competition
Take it seriously
17. Pip's new boyfriend Jude; Should David and Ruth
Relax
Beat him to death with a dvd of 'Un Chien Andalou'
Watch more art house themselves
Realise that your new shorts have made you more mature
Sniff loudly
Just be grateful because let's face it even Johnathan wouldn't
18. The Vicar tells you of his plans to sleep rough for Lent, do you
Think the plight of the homeless should be highlighted
Stare open mouthed
Bung him a hundred just to be rid of him
Invite him in for tea
Offer to join him
Have previous for this sort of thing yourself
19. The Vicar invites you in for tea. You notice the statue of Shiva, do you
Welcome his relaxed confidence in his own beliefs
Assume its a cigarette lighter
Throw your toys out of the pram and never return
Prefer not to blur the boundaries
Miss the old Five Live boards
Question his commitment
20. Pick your reading material
Gibbon, Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire
Jackie Collins, Lovers and Players
Nigel Slater, Tender: A cook and his vegetable patch
Screwfix catalogue
Nelson Mandela, A long walk to freedom
The Morris book: A history of Morris dancing

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