1. What is your age? Under 18 Years Old 18 to 24 Years Old 25 to 30 Years Old 31 to 40 Years Old 41 to 50 Years Old 51 to 60 Years Old Over 60 Years Old 2. What is your gender? Male Female 3. First things first. There are three MAIN probable causes behind any given case of zombieism: Voodoo Madjiks and which two viruses? (Note: when you see "S" and "C" zombies in this quiz, they refer to this question.) s--- nobody cares about and Crap Sudafed and Cough Drops Solanum and Campian Solanum and Chrysmoproylene Sykloonz B and Chrysmopropylene Something unknown and Comatose...ness 4. Voodoo zombies are: Least dangerous and least docile I'm drunk. Most dangerous and most docile Most dangerous and of varying docileness relative to other zombies Most dangerous and least docile Least dangerous and most docile 5. In the case of "C" zombies, there exists... Parasitic worms, large abominations crafted from infected bodyparts, "runners" who have the approximate physical capacity of a living hooman, and many levels of injured or decomposing specimen who generally shamble along slowly Large abominations crafted from infected bodyparts, "runners" who have the approximate physical capacity of a living hooman, and many levels of injured or decomposing specimen who generally shamble along slowly "Runners" who have the approximate physical capacity of a living hooman, and many levels of injured or decomposing specimen who generally shamble along slowly Only many levels of injured or decomposing specimen who generally shamble along slowly Chow mein, lo mein, and tangy hunan shrimp Biologicals, psychologicals, and hydraulics 6. In the case of "S" zombies, there exists how many greatly distinct varieties? Only 1 2 3 4 5 6 7. The "S" virus was first discovered by Westerners through... Vance Vanmoulder Heidi Van Moore Jan Vanderhaven Milhouse Van Houten "Mr." Vandermarr Teh Intarwebz 8. Regardless of which, if you... a virus-based zombie, you will be infected with the virus. Breath the same air as Are bitten by Eat Allow any of its blood or saliva to enter one's body in any manner Allow it to eat one's brainz Watch pr0ns of 9. In the case of "S" zombies, the virus spreading via insects is... Impossible Highly unlikely Not common A threat A common occurance The main course of transmission 10. In the case of the "S" virus, which victims are safe to eat? Any which have not yet transformed None Non-hoomans which have been dead for several hours Anything which has been dead for several hours and cooked Only females of any species which have been cooked Only former hooman males which have been dead for several hours 11. In order to reach a full transformation, the "S" and "C" viruses, respectively, usually require the passing of how many hours after infection? 24 and 12 48 and 3 5 and 0.2 5 and 48 24 and 24 12. The "S" virus is capable of reanimating corpses created by another means. True False 13. The "C" virus is capable of doing so. True False 14. How may one quickly determine whether they are combatting "S" or "C" zombies? "S" zombies are purple "C" zombies will include animals and decayed corpses, "S" zombies will not "S" zombies will include decayed corpses, "C" zombies will not There is no simple method for this 15. Zombies can be killed by... Loss of blood Piercing of heart The liiiiiiiiight *waves cruxifix* Destroying the brain Immolation 16. Zombies can be practically disabled by... Removing the head Removing both legs Intense pain Castration Eye gouging 17. One highly proffessional source, while almost universally correct, makes one false claim that the "S" virus is fatal to all living things. Which of the following are usually not overcome by it? The Hydra, durr. Rodents, when they have access to abundant food Sea creatures, when they are temporarily out of water Robert Pattinson, when his hair is not harmed in the process Werewolves, if they are in their wolf form when bitten or for a certain amount of time afterwards The above two 18. How much weight do you think you can safely carry, given devices such as backpacks, bags, and similar containers, for 6 hours of walking? Over 120 lbs 75-119 lbs 50-74 lbs 24-49 lbs 0-24 lbs 6 hours of walking? Pfffft I'm too lazy for that s--- man. 19. Withing one minute of now, can you access a firearm and relevant ammunition? No Yes, a small arm Yes, a larger arm (shotgun, hunting rifle, et cetera) Yes, a military-grade arm (automatic rifle, submachine gun, et cetera) Yes, but only weak/innefficient arms (pellet/BB gun, bow and arrow, et cetera) 20. Which of these best describes the location of your home? Urban Suburban Large town Small town Rural community Avoiding the ravages of industrialized society and outstanding warrants in the Montana wilderness 21. How much skill do you have in improvising weapons and devices? (Select the furthest down which applies.) With only a wooden pole and duct tape, I may well fail to make a wooden pole with duct tape on it With only a wooden pole and duct tape, I can make a wooden pole with duct tape on it With only a kite's string and a rock I can make an effective, albeit not very durable medium-long range weapon With only a durable pipe, firecrackers/works, and some rocks, I can make a primitive arquebus...but only because I saw that episode of Star Trek With only a shovel, two boards, and a healthy tree, I can craft reliable temporary shelter With only a paper clip, a rubber band, and a plastic drinking straw, I can save Peter's dog 22. Which of these can you safely pilot? Choose the furthest down which applies. Shoes... I think Automobile Motorcycle 18-Wheel truck Helicopter At least 4 of the above 23. How long can you probably remain awake and reasonably alert whilst doing semi-sedentary activity, if there's a notable chance that your life depends on it? 16 hours? 24 hours 36 hours 48 hours 60 hours At least 72 hours 24. In the case of the "S" virus, has it been proven possible to trick the zombies by acting as them? In the case of the "C" virus? Yes and yes Yes and no No and yes No and no 25. How well do you know your local ecology/geography? ...? I have a general idea of local geography I have a general idea of local geography and know how to identify some edible things I have a general idea of local geography and will be able to determine how to effectively aquire food in the wilderness, given the opportunity I am well aware of local geography and the identification and general location/aquisition of potential food I am well versed in local geography, the location, identification, and aquisition of potential food, and identification of poisonous species 26. (Note: Most of the rest of the quiz will be in "scenario" format.) You awake, turn on the television, and catch a local news bulletin in which police are shown surrounding a home described as housing several diseased and openly hostile individuals. You think, "Damn! ...!" Class 1 outbreak! Class 2 outbreak! Class 3 outbreak! Class 4 outbreak! SWINE FLOO!!!!!!!!! Ah whant shum BHEWZSH. 27. But despite that well-thought-out assumption, the outbreak has escalated to considerably larger proportions by the next day. Several zombies are, in fact, in your yard. What do you do? Panic Get drunk and throw rocks at them Grab a melee weapon and kill the zombies quietly before assessing the situation Grab a gun and shoot them from the safety of your home Begin barricading yourself in the safest room in your house Flee your home immediately 28. Upon observing the neighborhood, there are a few scattered zombies and various humans combatting them. With this knowledge, you: Join in and attempt to clear the area Call the police Arm yourself and go directly to the local police force Go to the hospital to see about immunization Arm yourself and drive to the nearest store(s) to get as much supplies as possible, observing carefully to see whether your house is the best potential stronghold and whether the area is suitable to remain in Watch the news for a few minutes before determining your course of action 29. Although they are rudimentary at best, which type of zombie retains the most human psychological characteristics? "S" "C" Equal 30. If you were going to combat any type of zombies and only the items mentioned were available, which strategy and equipment would best suit you? Assume that you will be fighting in a solo situation. Scarf, handgun, and chainsaw. There's not much to say here--the chainsaw hacks through zombies while the scarf keeps their bits from flying into one's mouth. The pistol will be used to pick off a few zombies until they are in melee range. No clothing and a keg of booze. I know I would get myself killed anyway, so I should make the best of my last moments, amirite? Trenchcoat, heavy spade, and knife. Although the coat's length may be somewhat of a liability in terms of being grabbed at, the spade's reach reduces the chances of this and if it should occur it can be easily rectified using the knife as the zombie in question fails to bite through the durable material. No bullets means longevity and stealth. Tightest possible clothing, shotgun, and cricket bat. The bat will be used to dispatch individual zombies while the shotgun will be conserved for emergencies in which it must be used to incapacitate large groups. The clothing will greatly reduce the risk of being seized, although the danger created if this does occur will be far greater versus heavier clothing. Any clothing, hunting rifle, and shotgun. The rifle will be used in the case of individuals while the shotgun will, as mentioned earlier, make quick work of crowds. The idea here is that zombies will never get close enough to pose an immediate threat of biting. Heavy winter coat, scissors and a sledgehammer. The same basic principles as the trenchcoat, spade et cetera apply here, but the durability of the clothing will be of such magnitude that one can afford to be seized and still continue killing zombies, in theory. 31. If you knew you would have to find and fortify a new shelter and probably deal with other survivors while using that equipment, of the following, what would you add to your arsenal? A first-aid kit Hard liquor Bleach, prune juice, and resealable plastic bags--not Ziplock A flashlight A hammer and nails Money 32. If you have determined that the area is too dangerous and you must travel and/or upgrade your shelter, of these, where will you go? To a local shelter or the town hall To your mother's room byotch To jail, I have a get-out-of-jail-free card To the nearest tundra, deserted island, or low-population mountains To the mall or Wal-Mart Yo zombie dawg. I herd u liek daggers. So Ima put a dagger in your dagger. So you can be stabbed while you're getting stabbed. ...Dawg. 33. If "S" zombies are the cause, using? A sedan A bicycle An SUV A pickup truck A pair of "Soopder-ley-Dooper Speed Boots" you paid 200$ for at a yard sale 34. How about if "C" zombies were the cause? A muscle car A motorcycle A minivan A Model T A McMuffin (egg) 35. Considering the level of fortification you would have put into your home, how likely is that scenario? Implausible Unlikely A consideration Very possible Likely Inevitable 36. If one's lover had been bitten but had not yet turned or lost conciousness, would it be safe to kiss him/her? Yes No Not sure, but I'd stay on the safe side Not sure, but I would anyway 37. In the field, SPAM (with an expiration date of 2230, packaging date of November 5th of last year) is best used for... Food Pythonesque humour. Find some other canned food, its sterility is questionable Nothing. Get some decent food! 38. There are rumours of a certain two sentient zombies of unknown origin who travel together and are friendly to some humans. How would one recognise them during a class 3 outbreak? Loudly call out, "Hey. Are you gonna try to eat me?" "The Boots" "The Pipe" They wouldn't be killing people They would be fighting other zombies It's not worth the time. They can probably do me little good, the last two options are dubious, the first dangerous, and I have no idea what "The Boots" or "The Pipe" refers to. 39. Do you know who Hoss Delgado is? Would he fare well against "S" or "C" zombies? Yes No I don't know him (No effect) 40. Would Ferdinand Magellan fare well against "S" or "C" zombies? Probably not, given general facts about him Doubtful, given his lesser-known reputation He has proven not to Probably, given general facts about him Likely, given his lesser-known reputation He has proven to 41. In combatting zombies, which is the best equipment you could practically hope to field? M60 Carbine and machete Flamethrower Rocket launcher Moobs Compound I.M. 1337C 42. Roughly speaking, SNAFU is to SUSFU as RTFM is to... Caviar Quagmire Moon base 64 Bit RTFMA DILLIGAFF 43. When travelling, the ideal group is... Only disciplined survivors and as small as possible As many people as one shares meaningful loyalty with Small to medium sized, including some less-than-ideal members but no large liabilities Up to 30 people or so, any more and it would get extraneous An indefinitely large number, but no considerably weak members Anyone one meets up with; strength in numbers! 44. Do you have any mechanical skill, in terms of vehicles or household appliances? Pfffft no. Only the extremely basic I have experience with certain highly specialized tasks in the category I have a fair knowledge of mechanics/electronics and a general idea on the composition of most common such items I am a trained mechanic/electrician/similar technician Just call me Red Green. 45. How would you rate your willpower? Infallible Extreme Strong Notable Average Weak 46. How would you rate your moralistic tendencies? Nihilistic Coldhearted Self-serving Reasonable Caring Saintly 47. What is your IQ? Under 90 91-110 (Average) 111-120 121-130 131-170 (Genius) Over 170 48. How high is your will to survive? Tenuous Average--as in, very important Hugely important Top priority Extreme All-encompassing 49. What is the aproximate chance that a speedy and clean amputation will save a victim of a zombie bite on a nonvital body part from death and/or transformation, INCLUDING cases in which death is caused by the amputation? 95% 75% 50% 10% 2% 0% 50. ORGANISE BEFORE THEY RISE.