What Religion Would Accept You

What religion would accept the kind of scum who surf the internet in search of quizzes? I know you want to know. Because I'm omniscient narrator Joe. And now you can find out with this easy tool! Just answer each provoking question and I'll tell you where to find eternal peace!! Woo yay!!

Oh yeah! Let's get started! Insert generic self-help phrases here! Woo! Oh yeah! Let's get started! Insert generic self-help phrases here! Woo! Oh yeah! Let's get started! Insert generic self-help phrases here! Woo!

1. What is your age?
Under 18 Years Old
18 to 24 Years Old
25 to 30 Years Old
31 to 40 Years Old
41 to 50 Years Old
51 to 60 Years Old
Over 60 Years Old
2. What is your gender?
Male
Female
3. What created the universe?
a god
some gods
big bang
beats me
4. Assume it was God. What created him?
God
BLASPHEMY!!!
Chuck Norris
beats me
I wouldn't know anything on this subject
5. Pick a fictional creature to represent you. If none are anything like you, pick the coolest one.
Siren
Dragon
The Spock
Luke Skywalker
Walker, Texas Ranger
Dwarf
6. Pick the most insulting yo momma joke type: yo momma so...
fat
stupid
ugly
blasphemous
7. Of these fake wrestlers, who is coolest?
Hulk Hogan
The Rock
Battista
Undertaker
8. How would you prefer to die?
As a martyr for your religion
As a martyr for freeing Tibet
As a hermit
After a quiet yet successful life with a spouse and some kids
9. You get 3 wishes. Right away you wish for ice cream and cash. What is your third wish?
More wishes
To meet God
More cash
10. Assume you are going for world domination. How do you do it?
Divine Intervention
Kung Fu
Tanks
Carefully Though-Out Plans That Minimize Damage To Civilians and Infrastracture
11. Do you live as you were raised?
Of course, everyone else EATS their children
Largely
People do that??
12. What is your current religion?
Christian
Jewish
Muslim
Hindu
Buddhist
Other or None
13. Do you know who Phaedrus is?
Yes, he's cool
Yes, he sucks
No
14. Someone knocks on your door are asks if Jesus is your 1 lord and saviour. How do you respond?
Tell him yes
Slam the door on his face
Kick his azz and tell him not to come back
15. If you were a ninja, what would be your weapon of choice?
A Gun
The Holy Bible
Nukes
Wisdom, Kung Fu, and/or Psychic Ability
A big pointy stick
16. Do you, or have you ever owned a deck of tarot cards?
Yeah they really work
Yeah they fun
Yeah they high in fibre
No they pointless
No they blasphemy
No they don't taste good

1. What is your age?

Under 18 Years Old

18 to 24 Years Old

25 to 30 Years Old

31 to 40 Years Old

41 to 50 Years Old

51 to 60 Years Old

Over 60 Years Old

2. What is your gender?

Male

Female

3. What created the universe?

a god

some gods

big bang

beats me

4. Assume it was God. What created him?

God

BLASPHEMY!!!

Chuck Norris

beats me

I wouldn't know anything on this subject

5. Pick a fictional creature to represent you. If none are anything like you, pick the coolest one.

Siren

Dragon

The Spock

Luke Skywalker

Walker, Texas Ranger

Dwarf

6. Pick the most insulting yo momma joke type: yo momma so...

fat

stupid

ugly

blasphemous

7. Of these fake wrestlers, who is coolest?

Hulk Hogan

The Rock

Battista

Undertaker

8. How would you prefer to die?

As a martyr for your religion

As a martyr for freeing Tibet

As a hermit

After a quiet yet successful life with a spouse and some kids

9. You get 3 wishes. Right away you wish for ice cream and cash. What is your third wish?

More wishes

To meet God

More cash

10. Assume you are going for world domination. How do you do it?

Divine Intervention

Kung Fu

Tanks

Carefully Though-Out Plans That Minimize Damage To Civilians and Infrastracture

11. Do you live as you were raised?

Of course, everyone else EATS their children

Largely

People do that??

12. What is your current religion?

Christian

Jewish

Muslim

Hindu

Buddhist

Other or None

13. Do you know who Phaedrus is?

Yes, he's cool

Yes, he sucks

14. Someone knocks on your door are asks if Jesus is your 1 lord and saviour. How do you respond?

Tell him yes

Slam the door on his face

Kick his azz and tell him not to come back

15. If you were a ninja, what would be your weapon of choice?

A Gun

The Holy Bible

Nukes

Wisdom, Kung Fu, and/or Psychic Ability

A big pointy stick

16. Do you, or have you ever owned a deck of tarot cards?

Yeah they really work

Yeah they fun

Yeah they high in fibre

No they pointless

No they blasphemy

No they don't taste good

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